The Bad, The Broken, The Classy
Something I often come across are ESL writers who are overly apologetic about their “Bad English.” To which, I think I should clarify…
Question: Who’s going to the party?
“Proper” English: I am going. / I’m going.
Bad English: I be going.
Broken English: I go.
Conversational English: Me!
Classy English: I shall be attending.
Bad English
Bad English is a feature of colloquial dialogue and culture. It’s primary identifier is incorrect grammar. It forms when language becomes structurally lazy and biased to favor ease of speech. Bad English is “never correct.”
People who speak/write Bad English sound uneducated and lazy. Native English speakers are less forgiving of bad English because it implies the speaker/writer doesn’t care to put in effort of communication. Aka, “If they don’t care, why should I?”
Broken English
Broken English is a feature of learning English as a second language. It’s primary identifier is botched conjugation — usually centered around the verb. It forms when chunks of language are strung together and, as a side effect, sounds very choppy and forced. Broken English is usually “incorrect in use.”
People who speak/write Broken English sound like a foreigner. Native English speakers are far more forgiving of broken English because it implies the speaker/writer is putting in effort to communicate. In fact, they are more inclined to be helpful.
Are there jerks who think ESL speakers are inferior and scream at you to “fix your English?” Yes. I too can scream at my wall to turn blue, but that doesn’t change the fact the walls won’t spontaneously turn blue. They can’t. Unless the cosmic laws of the universe change, I’m suddenly a god, or my walls are painted with voice-activated, color-changing paint, that fact will never change. Don’t take insanity personally. These kinds of jerks are rare. Even then, usually it’s “Bad English” they’ll target first.
Most people, however, like to share things about themselves and act as experts of their own experiences. This is not exclusive to English speakers. Furthermore, being able to speak more than one language comes off as an admirable trait and, as a default, you can always bond over how English is a stupid language with too many words.
Trust me. We understand.
#latindidnthelpmewithmySATscores #egosumstulte
Conversational English
Conversational English is what it sounds like: English used in everyday conversation. While Bad and Broken English do count as a subcategory of this, they aren’t exactly considered the same style of English. Conversational English developed to be efficient in context. As a result it tends to be chalk full of fragments, injections, and otherwise simple word choice buffed with intensifiers and qualifiers. Then there are idioms…
People who speak Conversational English sound normal. In writing, however, that’s a more complicated matter. Conversational English is tedious to read and few would consider it “Proper” English and rarely “good writing.” While people talk in fragments, they still aren’t complete sentences. While people use idioms, they’re still cliche. While it’s fine to say “very tired,” it’s more powerful to say “exhausted.” Injections are noise. However, these all make realistic dialogue. However, realistic dialogue is a few notches short of well-written dialogue, so…aim for middle ground?
Classy English
Classy English has one primary identifier: it’s verbose. There is often a more complicated sentence structure and a stronger grasp word choice due to a broader vocabulary. However, because it strives to be so specific and correct, it can become incomprehensible, bloated, and far too complicated to the average English speaker.
People who write Classy English sound intelligent. People who speak Classy English sound pretentious. (To Americans, they also sound very British.) Why? Because the funny thing about any language is that flaws make it more natural and organic; the more perfect language — or anything for that matter — is, the harder it is to pass as relatable.
If you ever see phrases like: “write to 6th grade reading level” floating around, it isn’t intended to dub down your writing. By all means, learn as much as you can. Read at or above your current grade level to get more comfortable with complexity and broaden your vocabulary. Don’t be ashamed to start at the bottom and work your way up. We all start learning to read by pointing out words under pictures.
But here is where target audience becomes important.
6th Grade reading level is Conversational English.
8th Grade reading level is English.
Higher than that, gets you into Classy territory and narrows your audience.
Take this article for example: I tend to write non-fiction around 9th grade reading level (I’m torturing you, aren’t I?). I write fiction anywhere from 5th — 10th grade. It changes depending on what characters are present because, fun characterization tip: an educated princess will speak with a higher reading level than an illiterate peasant. Age is also a factor. But here I’m rambling.
So don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t worry about your English being bad. Don’t be ashamed to write.
Broken English actually has more in common than Proper English than Conversational English does, which is a major advantage to writing well. For native speakers, Conversational English is the default and can teeter in Bad English territory. That’s a different challenge.
Context clarity is something all writers struggle with. Chances are, if your grammar is great, you’re doing better than native speakers already.
Just don’t forget to keep reading.
Kai Austin is a writer, full stack developer, and generalized nerd who may or may not be a robot. You can keep up with his projects on his facebook page: DotKai.
