♪ ♫ Your Latest Version

a song parody of The Rolling Stones’ Beast of Burden

Joe Váradi
Mar 28 · 2 min read

♪ ♫ Don’t want to download your latest version
I’m old school — have tech aversion
All this techno-jargon is really confusing me

Can’t even find your latest version
Googled for hours, my hands are hurtin'
All I want is this stupid app to work for me

ㅤㅤAm I old enough?
ㅤㅤAm I jaded enough?
ㅤㅤAm I dumb enough?
ㅤㅤDidn’t major in EYE-TEEEEE

♪ ♫ Don’t think I have your latest version
The online help is a useless diversion
Might as well be Greek
'Cause it’s making no sense to me

ㅤㅤAm I dull enough?
ㅤㅤAm I tired enough?
ㅤㅤFrustrated enough?
ㅤㅤGuess it’s time to call EYE-TEEEEE

Tech desk mister …
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please
I been on hold for hours, beggin' pretty, pretty please
I bow down to your intellect, now please bring me some peace

I’ll tell ya
You can charge my card
Much as you please
Make me feel like
I have a brain disease
But log me out, log me out
Log me out of misery, yeah

Bring on the sarcasm —
I’ll let it slide
Get me up and running and
I’ll sacrifice my pride
There’s just one little thing
That I cannot believe
You’re telling me you never heard of
Control-Alt-Delete …??

ㅤㅤAin’t I old enough?
ㅤㅤAin’t I dumb enough?
ㅤㅤBless you Millennials, but
ㅤㅤI wasn’t born in NINETY-THREE …

♪ ♫ I’ll live without your latest version
Won’t be a part of — your tech conversion
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be

for my friend Jackie

Song Done Wrong

Celebrating music through fiction and song parody.

Joe Váradi

Written by

Editor of No Crime in Rhymin' and Language Lab | the Woke Bloke ..."come for the sarcasm, stay for my soft side"

Song Done Wrong

Celebrating music through fiction and song parody. With an emphasis on hilarity.

Joe Váradi

Written by

Editor of No Crime in Rhymin' and Language Lab | the Woke Bloke ..."come for the sarcasm, stay for my soft side"

Song Done Wrong

Celebrating music through fiction and song parody. With an emphasis on hilarity.

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