♪ ♫ Don’t want to download your latest version
I’m old school — have tech aversion
All this techno-jargon is really confusing me
Can’t even find your latest version
Googled for hours, my hands are hurtin'
All I want is this stupid app to work for me
ㅤㅤAm I old enough?
ㅤㅤAm I jaded enough?
ㅤㅤAm I dumb enough?
ㅤㅤDidn’t major in EYE-TEEEEE
♪ ♫ Don’t think I have your latest version
The online help is a useless diversion
Might as well be Greek
'Cause it’s making no sense to me
ㅤㅤAm I dull enough?
ㅤㅤAm I tired enough?
ㅤㅤGuess it’s time to call EYE-TEEEEE
Tech desk mister …
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please
I been on hold for hours, beggin' pretty, pretty please
I bow down to your intellect, now please bring me some peace
I’ll tell ya
You can charge my card
Much as you please
Make me feel like
I have a brain disease
But log me out, log me out
Log me out of misery, yeah
Bring on the sarcasm —
I’ll let it slide
Get me up and running and
I’ll sacrifice my pride
There’s just one little thing
That I cannot believe
You’re telling me you never heard of
ㅤㅤAin’t I old enough?
ㅤㅤAin’t I dumb enough?
ㅤㅤBless you Millennials, but
ㅤㅤI wasn’t born in NINETY-THREE …
♪ ♫ I’ll live without your latest version
Won’t be a part of — your tech conversion
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be
for my friend Jackie