What Do I Really Have Control Over?

Lark Morrigan
Song of the Lark
Published in
4 min readMay 18, 2024


Photo by pure julia on Unsplash

It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed these days.

It might be weak to admit that I feel like I’m constantly drowning in a never-ending list of to-dos and checkboxes to tick off.

There are things that I genuinely want to do, and I know time isn’t the issue (it’s probably a lack of energy and feeling the weight of expectations). I technically have six hours of free time, even when I am working and don’t anticipate being a full-time writer anytime soon (now I am making peace with that). But I waste too much time feeling inadequate and dreading the blank page.

I made a faux pas over a month ago. I don’t want to beat myself up over it or go into it in great detail, but in a nutshell, it seems like the freelance top writers these days are claiming that clients are willing to pay inexperienced writers with great sales skills $2,000 a month. “This is the only way you can quit your day job!”

I am not interested in client work and most freelance writing jobs do not interest me. But I sometimes dream of being a full-time writer in the creative sense — like one of the rare few who does only creative writing, not technical or marketing writing (because I see client work as similar to a boring corporate job). I honestly think those freelancers are more marketers than actual writers. What they do is never going to be a dream…