ARTIVISM / PERSONAL GROWTH

The Greatest Love Song Ever Written

How we could love

Nicky Dee
Songstories

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Montage created by author with credit to Alex Grey for the original artwork

Google it.

Love song. Probably the most written and rhymed about topic in the multi verse. Mostly about love lost, unrequited love or love spurned, I’m guessing.

Mostly about “my” love, anyway.

“What is love anyway?”

No. Not that one.

But it’s a good one, because love seems to be too much about what we can receive, mostly, and not enough about what we can share, give. Or do.

Maybe we have got it all wrong, and that’s why we so often can’t get it right.

This ultimate love song has always been the one that has said it best. For me. And to me.

We fall in love.

Mostly with ourselves in the beginning.

I could explain the dynamic in psychological terms, but that wouldn’t be very romantic. Thing is. It usually isn’t very romantic. The general consensus of “what is love anyway.”

I read a cheesy post on social media some time ago (when I was still using social media).

It said, simply,

“Love is the absence of judgement.”

Or something like that.

I could talk about the spiritual and the outstanding principle of non-judgement. But again, that wouldn’t be very romantic.

And yet it is, both, profoundly intimate and deeply romantic.

We meet people. We see our selves in their mirroring of us, and vice versa. The first part, the honeymoon period. And then our own inevitable darkness, as we grow both more and less secure in our attachment and our investment in them.

The general consensus of “what is love anyway,” is actually pretty self serving. Based, too often, more on need than any kind of Love.

MY boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/insert your preferred term of ownership here.

You can’t own a human being. Or a soul. It’s just not possible.

Silly.

Unless the exchange is based on business and personal needs being fulfilled by agreement. Spoken or assumed.

And so… we rely on our needs being met outside of us and the things that initially made us fall so deeply in love with another whole unique soul, begin to annoy or even to hurt us when they are, naturally, unfulfilled.

And so, again, we begin to try and change the other.
To change each other.
And ourselves.

And too often, we forget how to love… entirely.
Both ourselves.
And others too.

Maybe love is less about hard work and compromise, and more about listening and understanding. And acceptance. Which brings us back to the absence of judgement.

So, perhaps that seemingly cheesy post was completely spot on.

This song.

This incredible love song.

This amazingly beautiful, deeply vulnerable and perfect example of love as action, will forever remain the ultimate point, to me, of loving to begin with.

“Not to intervene when it came to you.”

“Not to touch a hair on your head, leave you as you are…”

Non-judgement and acceptance. But even more…

Celebration of the other.

Worship of uniqueness. Difference. And a different journey. What an amazing thing to be allowed to participate in! Another soul’s experience of this life.

This is “what love is anyway?”

To me.

It is gifted by sharing of truth, and it is received by acceptance of that unique truth.

There is no “right" or “wrong.”

That is not love.
That is control.
That is based on fear.

The polar opposite of love… many may say.

May you turn to your lover today, if you are gifted with the opportunity to love somebody right now, and see them as they are. Hell. May you see everyone in this Light.

And may you choose to love them despite their differences and their humanity. And despite your own as well.

Over and again.

Maybe this is how “Love lifts us up Where we Belong.”

From banality and to the Divine.

Because “The Power of Love,” has the ability to do just this. And maybe this is why we are so fascinated by Love to begin with.

What a beautiful thing. To love and be loved. In action.

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate.”

“My love for you has no strings attached.

I love you for free.”

-Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

ps. It’s all the small stuff. And life’s too short to be jaded.

Love is a wonderful thing.”

No. It’s not that song either. My greatest love song of all time.

It’s this one.

Into My Arms [Lyrics]

I don’t believe in an interventionist God
But I know, darling, that you do
But if I did I would kneel down and ask Him
Not to intervene when it came to you
Not to touch a hair on your head
To leave you as you are
And if He felt He had to direct you
Then direct you into my arms

Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms

And I don’t believe in the existence of angels
But looking at you I wonder if that’s true
But if I did I would summon them together
And ask them to watch over you
To each burn a candle for you
To make bright and clear your path
And to walk, like Christ, in grace and love
And guide you into my arms

Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms

But I believe in Love
And I know that you do too
And I believe in some kind of path
That we can walk down, me and you
So keep your candles burning
And make her journey bright and pure
That she will keep returning
Always and evermore

Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms, O Lord
Into my arms

-Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. 1997

Recovery note: Love isn’t supposed to hurt. If it does then detaching, with love of course, is probably the most loving thing that you can do for everyone involved.

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