6 Reflections on 2018: Relationships, Climate Change, and Life Hacks
Here at Urbana on our triennial retreat and have had the most sleep I’ve had this year in the last few days. Here are some personal reflections:
Accountability and small wins work
Made and kept my New Year’s resolution which was to do pushups every day — 364 days so far. It’s only been possible with a WhatsApp group of guys pushing each other on every day. Many thanks to my buddy Chris Bergstrom for inviting me to it. Started with 15 a day on January 1 and now doing 100+. Couldn’t have done it without you!
Also kept my resolution to build my relationship with Mary, our first child who’s noticeably gotten less attention than Manny, our second, due to a number of compounding life factors. Wouldn’t have been possible without regular support / persistence from Christy. Now have both kids clinging on me…which has been pretty awesome.
Didn’t keep my resolution to fast more often. Didn’t have any support or accountability on that one, so I’m realizing just how important that really is.
Forgiveness is key to relational progress
Yeah, when it comes to relationships, this was a breakthrough for me. And it has to be unilateral. The biggest lie out there is that you have to wait for people to ask for it, or even to acknowledge that they’ve wronged you. Can’t do that. Life hack: it’s much more doable when you realize how much you’ve been forgiven.
It’s still true that you can’t make old friends
My recurring advice to people seeking it is to invest in friendships (includes family) and to do it over a long period of time. Fast forward 20 years and wealth will not be measured by achievements and bank accounts, but in the quantity and quality of your relationships.
Ruth Chatman Hammett, Gladys Ware Butler and Bernice Grimes Underwood at their 100th birthday celebration.
It’s advice I want to follow more as well this coming year. I want to be more intentional about investing in the precious friends I’ve had, though may have neglected in recent years. Especially friends who have been with me through so much of life over the last several decades. You know who you are. If you see this and want to reconnect, please reach out on Facebook.
Favorite book: Drawdown Edited by P. Hawken
Those of you who know me well probably have had me pitch you about Drawdown (available as a book and website) or have had me send it to you. It’s basically a top Top 100 strategies for getting us to greenhouse gas break even. Great bathroom reading if you don’t have time; read about one strategy per session.
Spoiler: Electric vehicles are ranked #26 — good but not great. Just having cleaner cookstoves (#21) could be 50% more effective. Hey we have our EVs on order but try a plant-rich diet (#4). Or just cleaning up your plate (#3). You’ll never guess what #1 is.
Runner ups: Mastery by Robert Greene, Practice Perfect by Doug Lemov. Escape from Freedom by Erich Fromm, The Ottoman Age of Exploration by Giancarlo Casale, Dorothy Day: The World Will Be Saved by Beauty by Kate Hennessy.
Most (work) fun: getting Alabaster off the ground
Alabaster, a startup advisory and investment effort, has been a multi-year thought experiment. It’s taken me some time to articulate what it is that I care about and what I want to do over the next few years: I want to work on the most fun, strategic companies with the most competent, passionate founders I know to make a positive, planet-level impact. And a lot of that will have to do with climate change reversal.
Suppose climate change is not real and that we’re just at one of many local minima in the grand arc of history… but what if that’s not true?
It’s been especially fun because I’ve gotten to work with some exceptional people who continue to put up with my idiosyncrasies. If you have a cool startup with amazing technology based on a scientific breakthrough (“deeptech”) or a top 25 Drawdown solution, please let me know!
Best life hack yet: pick an awesome life partner
Marriage is very hard and we’ve had our struggles but with concentrated, intentional effort, and with help from friends who know what they’re doing and truly care, Christy and I have made it through our first decade together.
I love life hacks and am always up for picking up more. But this has got to be the top one: find someone who can and will be honest with you, but who’s got your back. My favorite thing about Christy: she stands up for what she believes in. When Dad said she’s “one in a million,” he wasn’t kidding!
