Self-Talk your way to success
Self-talk is when you say something either good or bad about yourself either aloud or mentally. It is when you either affirm yourself or you destroy yourself. For example, you had a presentation in your office early in the morning. During that time, you see your colleagues whisper to one another. Or you see your boss having that poker face until the end of your presentation.
As you leave the room, you walk away talking to yourself in mind asking yourself:
“Did I just nailed it or crashed it?”
“I think it was not that powerful enough to convince my boss”
or
“Well, I prepared for it and I know I did pretty well back there”.
If you did the negative self-talk, there will be a good chance you will doubt yourself the next time. Or you may pass such tasks to your colleague instead of doing it the next time.
For the wrong reason.
If you did the positive self-talk, the result will be better.
You will continue to do it the next time where such a project needs to be presented in front of your superiors. You may even challenge yourself to add more tweaks and animations to provide a more persuasive presentation.
The outcome? More opportunities to learn and grow to be a better you.
But how do we get to the point where we can train ourself to always self-talk our way to success? Here are just 5 of the many tips you can try to feed yourself with positive and valuable self-talk for success:
Be self-aware of your emotion
It’s human nature to be emotional. And its difficult to control some very critical emotions. If people around us celebrate, we create a reaction to have that “happy vibes” and join in that circle. Same goes if somebody is shouting at you or saying things that are harsh or offensive, you feel bad or worse, feel extremely hurt and hold grudges.
Yet, it’s important to be able to be aware when you are being driven into a corner. And it will be absolutely crucial to be aware of any negative emotions creeping out. Negative emotions drive people to make incorrect decisions. These decisions if not made well often lead to a very poor outcome.
Give yourself no more than 5 mins to take on any destructive emotions. After that, it’s time to let go and take charge. It’s a matter of making a choice: To hold on to that negative feeling or to shake it off with confidence. Develop your ability to understand your own emotions and learn how it will affect your performance. Learn not to dwell much on negative emotions and embrace more of the positive ones.
Look beyond the immediate issues
The way you deal with your emotions will eventually have a direct impact to what you do. It may sway you away from your focus. Often than not, if not properly measured, the reaction you make may not be the right response to take.
After all, outcome = event + response.
When you can take a step back, consider impact and other considerations — this often leads to making a better decision. This however is not a natural skill. It takes an immense form of self-discipline to do. It’s important that you have someone you can trust (for example a boss) who can inform you when you fall into a bad response.
Your superiors are not there to just boss around, they are actually your mentors and can help you develop such skill.
Believing that you can — building resilience
It is crucial to tell yourself that nothing can break you down. Yes, it sounds easier said than done but remember that the moment you stop believing, you will stop trying. That’s a domino effect.
Have the courage to break down old-age thinking that you may have. Society around you may sometimes doubt you or claim that you won’t be an achiever.
That’s their thinking! You know yourself better than everybody else.
One ultimate self-awareness point is on being aware that you can change your environment. This skill does not come like magic, it requires real mental work that you need to develop. Practice this each and every single day until you finally master.
It doesn’t have to be talk. Eventually, the words appear automatically in your mind
After some time, when you achieve the self-awareness and self-thinking — things become natural. Once you win some battles, you need solid backers to keep you going. We all need some form of maintenance and way to maintain your composure is to surround yourself with positive and empowering people.
Do you have friends who are toxic that could bring down your emotions?
Friends who always complain or say unpleasant things about you? You can handle this by 1. ignoring or 2. disengaging. If you have that strong skill of ignoring them then do so but if you can no longer take it or absorb it then it’s best to take a break and cut the ties. People around you can either build you up or bring you down and you have the right to choose.
Conquer fears with knowledge and learning
When you are not sure that you can do something — you can win by knowledge. After all, knowledge is power. Humans are way more effective in learning and growing to improve and better themselves. The best places are bookstores, and internet.
We are at our best when we learn how to self-direct our learning. Try reading on growth mindset books to improve your character and attitude. This type of books will help you value yourself even more and will encourage you to do better each day.
The only way to succeed in this such competitive and harsh world is having a strong mindset and strong backbone.
Do you have other ways that you self-talk your way to success?
