There are times I feel like I’m stuck in a third dimension; a space between what is real and what is perceived.
I can feel the serene, peacefulness of my soul that is absolute and neither here nor there. I can see “reality” taking place all around me — people talking, objects moving, the sun shining, kids playing — my body is there, but I’m not. I look to be a part of it, but a representative has shown up in my body to take my place.
At times I watch the “reality” taking place disengaged. Other times I wish to be actively engaged — to merge the parts into one — but I’m stuck in the in-between, sunken space unable to connect back into “reality;” unable to control what is taking place.
I don’t understand it.
Most people never even notice that for me an internal shift has taken place, to most people the representative is a sufficient double. To those who harbor a keen awareness of space…of time…of energy…of me, I appear disconnected, aloof and maybe even afraid.
I am all three.
I am disconnected and keenly aware that I am existing as disjointed parts showing up as one individual.
I am aloof because I am not there. I am not in the “reality” that is taking place.
I am afraid that I will get lost in this sunken space. Disturbed that I have lost access to the representative that is now me. Afraid that my disattachment is causing me to live in a fake reality outside of what is real.
But, that begs the questions — What is this disconnection that has taken place? Why is it occuring? Is the sunken space an escape? Or, is it the only thing real? What is reality? And is “reality” real?
Candra Adia writes daily musings on the perfect imperfections of life here in Soul Connected. Receive one every morning to read as you start your day by clicking here to subscribe.