Closer To God
There are times in life we struggle to get closer to God, to feel The Presence…to have evidence that it’s real.
No matter what you call The Presence, for me there is no doubt there is something more. An energy, a presence, a life force. There is no doubt this experience, this life, this world is bigger than me. It doesn’t revolve around me; I know I am not its center.
But, to be honest, there are times I struggle. There are times when despite what I know I still doubt.
There are times I find myself in a space filled with worry, anxiety and fear. I go through times when the only thing I have left is my faith; my internal knowing. Thankfully the times when that’s all I have left it’s been enough to carry me through.
My experiences in life have been fascinating to me. I’ve been able to witness the dichotomy that exists within me. There is a part of me that is suffering in the experience I am going through. At the exact same time there is a deeper part of me that is consistently at peace and filled with absolute knowing. The deeper part is what consistently keeps me grounded; it’s the part that pulls me back, pulls me up and pulls me through. It’s the part of me that is unchanged no matter the circumstance or experience.
There are times I feel far removed from any type of internal peace or godly experience. But, there are times I feel at one with The Presence too.
Sometimes it’s looking into another person’s face in a moment when they are happy; filled with joy. For that moment the worries, pain and trials of life have faded away and their pure light shines through. In that moment I see them laugh, I feel their joy, I witness The Presence.
It’s the moments when I sit and look out at the ocean. I hear the water moving and the waves crashing. I see the vastness of the water and I feel the energy it carries. In those moments I know there is nothing in this world against me; I’m resting in the world in my space. Just being…witnessing…appreciating…loving.
It’s the moments when I see the flowers bloom or the leaves fall off the trees. The moments when the grass turns green, the rain clouds come or the sun beams. The moments when I’m out in nature and it feels like the whole world stops and is right there with me.
It’s the moments when I watch a child play so blissful and free; uninhibited, unafraid and without worries. They have no barriers, no walls and no disdain.
It’s the moments when I realize that at our core we are all dealing with the same things. At the core of each of us we want to be noticed, we want to be accepted and we want to be loved. We search for these things externally until we learn how to access them internally. Despite all the walls, barriers and armor we build up around us, there is a part of us that is pure, genuine and true. In that part I see God.
I’ve come to learn that true fulfillment and happiness in life is not about money or material things. There are times I sit in pure amazement and awe of this place, this gift, this opportunity. In those times I know I am one with God.
In those times I’m not just close, but I know God is within me.