Relationships — Need vs Want

I don’t need you to need me; I want you to want me.

There’s a difference.

If you need someone else and they need you, you each need someone or something, outside yourself, to be happy, whole and complete. If that’s the case, what are you without each other? Who are you without each other? If you need them to be happy, there’s a void in you that you can’t fill so you’re looking to them to do it. You’re expecting them to supply something you feel you can’t get on your own.

When you feel you need someone you cling to them and hold on for dear life; even when holding on is detrimental to them, or to yourself. Feeling like you need another person to complete your life or make it better is the framework for a codependent, unhealthy relationship.

If you need them to complete you, your relationship is doomed. You must complete yourself. You must find happiness on your own. You can take care of your own happiness, but you can’t give happiness to someone else.

Seeking out a person to make you happy; a person who completes you = co-dependency.

Seeking out a person whom you freely chose to spend your life with = love.

Candra Adia writes daily musings on the perfect imperfections of life here in Soul Connected. Receive one every morning to read as you start your day by clicking here to subscribe.