What Are You So Afraid Of?
Your future is calling you.
Do you feel the pull? Do you see the visions? Do you hear the voice?
You know this is not it. You know this in not how you are meant to live the rest of your life. There is more. You were made for more.
But how? How do you get there?
You’re stuck. Stuck between where you are and the future calling you forward into a different reality. You’re afraid that you’ll never get there. Afraid you don’t have what it takes. Afraid maybe you’re not one of the chosen to transcend in life.
You don’t know what to do. You don’t know how to get more out of life. You can touch it, you can feel it, you can taste it, but you can’t get pass the glass that separates you from the other version of your life. You’re a window shopper who desperately wants to be inside. You want to buy it, own it, possess it.
You’re tired of the pull that continues to make your life feel not quite right. You’re tired of the voice telling you this is not it; you were meant to do more, be more and have more in life. You’re tired of sitting on the bench being a spectator who can’t get in the game.
You’re fucking frustrated. You want things to change. You NEED things to change. This CAN’T be it; this can’t be all there is to life.
You have a lifestyle you like, one that you’ve grown accustom to, and you’re not willing to give up the pleasures and luxuries that exist in your life. You have kids who you have to attend to…they need your attention. You have a significant other who doesn’t quite see your dream and is hesitant about the stakes and the costs. Afraid of the effect it may have on the family; afraid of the effect it may have on him. There are people at work who respect and count on you.
When you think about it your life actually isn’t that bad, but it’s not great either. Your teetering. It’s good enough for you to be comfortable, good enough to be complacent; but, not good enough to be satisfied. Not good enough to escape the purgatory that has somehow become your life.
You want more. Good enough simply isn’t good enough anymore. You know you can’t live the rest of your life this way.
I understand the internal turmoil and I know what you’re going through. I see you. I feel you. I’ve been there…in some ways I’m still there.
How do you get out? How do you get from here to there? How do you get through the glass to get to the other side?
Honestly, I don’t have all the answers. But, I do have some advice that can help.
Check in with yourself. All too often we are filtering ourselves in our life. The filters become so clogged — with who we need to be to be liked, to fit in, to receive love, to hold everything together, to keep going, to make everyone happy — that we don’t even recognize what comes out the other side. We look in the mirror and we don’t recognize the reflection we see. The person looking back at us is not us. That person doesn’t talk like you or act like you…that person barely resembles who you know you are.
It’s time to clean the filters, or better yet remove them. You have to find who you are. What needs to happen for the reflection to be in alignment with who you really are? It’s time to be honest with yourself. In your mind strip everything else away. What do you need for you to be okay? What HAS to change?
Write down each need or change one by one. Don’t short change yourself.
Next to each item write what the need or change will look like. Ideally how will it manifest in your life? Be specific.
For example: Do you have to lose weight? How many pounds will you lose? Do you have to have more silent, alone time? How much? Is it a daily, weekly or monthly requirement?
Associate a feeling with each item. Envision yourself once the need or change is obtain/accomplished. How does it feel. See it, touch it, taste it, smell it, feel it. Make it feel real.
Write a commitment to yourself to take an action step every single day. It doesn’t have to be grand, it can be big or small, but you have to consistently commit to it. In order to get through the glass and get to the other side you have to start where you are. It’s a process. See it, touch it, taste it, smell it, feel it; but, also be patient with where you currently are. You won’t get there overnight, but if you consistently work at it you will get there.
Accountability. There are two parts to accountability.
Part 1 — You have to be accountable to you. You have to make an unwavering commitment to remain true to yourself no matter what is said, no matter what obstacles are in the way and no matter what deterrents appear. It won’t be easy, old habits will get in the way. Promise yourself and then hold yourself accountable to that promise. There will be times you slip up or fall short but be aware of them and immediately self-correct. Don’t let yourself down. Your accountability, or lack thereof, will affect your future.
Part 2 — Accountability to someone you trust. Life is not meant to be a solo affair. Enlist someone you trust as a soul buddy to talk to. Someone who knows who you really are and can see who you are being called forth to be. Someone who can administer tough love when necessary. Someone who can lovingly call you on your shit. Someone who will not settle for you being mediocre.
We are each designed to live a joy-filled life in abundance. Each of us is designed to shine.
You’re future is calling you. Will you answer?
Candra Adia is a transformational life coach, writer and motivational speaker. She loves helping individuals who want to be entrepreneurs get past their internal blocks to take the first step. She resides in Los Angeles, and sometimes Cleveland. Connect with her at candraadia.com, on Facebook or watch her videos on YouTube.