Your Need To Be Liked Is Holding You Back

All too often we care too much about what people think. We want people to like us.

We want to appear a certain way in the eyes of others. We want to be their friend. We seek their validation and approval. All too often others thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs about us matter. So we do things to fit in. We go along with the crowd and we don’t state what we really think and feel. We alter the way we talk, the way we walk, the way we act, the way we dress all in an effort to be liked; all in an effort to fit in.

The real you is trapped inside while your representative navigates your life instead. The representative enters friendships, relationships, marriages and jobs pretending to be you. If you allow the representative to run your life too long you’ll lose yourself. You’ll no longer be aware that a representative is even showing up.

There’s an internal disconnect present.

The real you is crying out inside. The real you needs validation and acceptance from yourself.

Most of the time you go throughout the day and you aren’t even aware that this is occurring. It’s not until the times you’re left alone, your quiet moments, that you feel off. You feel unhappy and not yourself. You may even hear or feel an internal voice crying out.

Or, it may be the times when you’re in a room full of friends but you feel out of place and alone. You don’t resonate with them and there’s no connection there. When you leave your head is hurting, your tired of smiling and you feel stressed out & exhausted, but you’re not sure why. It’s from working so hard to maintain a façade that isn’t you. Every moment in their present is work.

You will grow increasingly depressed, lonely, internally separated and miserable wearing a mask to fit in. And the people you’re trying to impress and keep around don’t like you, they like the representative. They don’t even know who you are. And the truth is most of them don’t care.

Individuality is a beautiful thing. It’s very freeing and liberating to just be yourself. However, in a world where most people go with the crowd instead of challenging it, even when the crowd is wrong, it’s not easy. You have to know yourself and like yourself to fully be yourself.

Fitting in and being normal is overrated.

Greatness is not reached by trying to be someone else. Greatness is a byproduct of authentically being who you are.

YOU are special and unique. YOU have gifts to give and the world needs YOU. But first you need yourself. You have to find out who you are. You have to like yourself.

Quite honestly, what others think, feel, say or believe about you is none of your business. The only thing that really matters is what you think about yourself.

Candra Adia is a transformational life coach, writer and motivational speaker. She specializes in helping entrepreneurs start, run and grow their business. She resides in Los Angeles. Connect with her at

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