Awaken Your Inner Child
My daughter has been an integral part of my growth. In the early months of separation from my wife, my daughter reflected the same sad face that she saw on her parents’ faces…
The childlike joyful look she wore was lost. Those childish things she did — crawling on the floor, laughing in ecstasy, breaking into a dance — were now substituted by grim adult-like expressions.
I realised that my emotions were rubbing off on her too… I also realised that I was robbing my daughter of a joyful childhood that she deserved. So I decided to pick up the pieces, and put myself together for her sake. Therein began the journey of self-transformation…
The journey to reconnect with my own child and the child within me…
My connection to both had been lost in all the chaos and turmoil! I now had to start replacing feelings of anger and hate, with those of compassion and joy… And, I had to do so quickly.
That’s when I began looking inward, and understanding how much closer to life children than us. We have more to learn from them than to teach them. I also learned how we adults pretend so much, make up stories, and distort a child’s worldview with our own version of reality.
This often happens when our minds are overcome with stress, and our childlike eyes of wonder have been covered by the lens of past memories that continue to torment us, and then go on to determine our future…
One day, when I woke up with memories of my wife, I realised that not only was she missing from my life, but my child’s affectionate ways of greeting me with hugs and kisses were also missing.
Children can bring so much joy into your life…
Their mere presence can take away tense moments or a melancholic mood… Their spontaneous words and actions force you back into the present moment.
Hence the well-being of a child, and the need to nurture their spontaneity, should be topmost priorities of any parent.
This joy felt in the present moment can be learned from children…
My daughter used to often play with herself and become joyful on her own. As adults, we think we need material things to make us happy, but those are inconsequential to real happiness.
An event that brought me back to the importance of reconnecting with my inner child took place on Children’s Day — 14th November. Every year, on Children’s Day, we used to spend time together as a family. But on the year following my separation, I completely forgot about the day.
When I saw my child return from school looking unenthusiastic and forlorn, I knew something was wrong. I searched her bag to see what she had done during the day, and saw that she had celebrated Children’s Day at school, and got some stuff back from the activities done there.
It was then that the child in me woke up…
I knew I had to connect again, to all the joys of my childhood and to all the joys of my child’s childhood… I couldn’t let her become an adult before time… I had to do what it took to keep the enthusiastic person in me alive, and to keep the enthusiastic child in her alive.
On that Children’s Day, I made up my mind, never again to lose precious life moments, by being lost in my own thoughts and emotions, and becoming unaware of the little joys that can make my daughter happy.
I decided to make every Children’s Day memorable thereafter…
Over the years, my daughter and I have devised several activities that help us rediscover the child within us on this special day. Here are some of them…
- Be with nature
Our daily lives are filled with mundane activities and intrusion of the internet, taking us away from the real experience of life. Reconnecting with nature is a good way for children and adults to disconnect in an open space. It also helps strengthen the bond between parent and child. My daughter and I often go to the park, or drive to a hill station close by. During that time, I realize my child opens up in a whole new way, sharing her life and thoughts more easily. Not to forget, the fresh air keeps us healthy too!
2. Read or learn a new language
My daughter enjoys reading, but when I read out to her, she feels special — she feels a certain bond. Reading a story book to her on Children’s Day is one of the activities that make us both happy. Moreover, it keeps her connected to her mother, as it was an activity they did together. Also, I try to introduce her to a new language … This can be done by simply Googling common phrases in the language we choose. Learning a new language helps unwire the brain and think out-of-the-box.
3. Do fun activities
Planting a tree, cooking up a tasty healthy dish, or doing art and craft, are some of the activities my daughter used to do with her mother. I have now taken it upon myself to do these activities with her during Children’s Day week. This helps me improve my skills, and it also helps her relive precious moments spent with her mother.
4. Focus on self-improvement
Both my daughter and I enjoy self-improvement activities like yoga, meditation, some physical exercise, or sport . During this week of Children’s Day, I encourage her to be a little more adventurous, and try a sport she has not played earlier. She also imitates me doing some basic yoga poses; together we laugh at our antics, and exercise our rigid limbs!
5. Become more inclusive
Children’s Day is essentially about celebrating life, but it’s important that the child knows that every other life is important too. So I encourage her to give help to an animal shelter, feed the hungry, or sponsor a child’s education. This shows her that she needs to celebrate all the life around her, and not just her own.
6. Don’t forget yourself
You may be a parent… But the ‘child is the father of the man’ as said William Wordsworth. This means that the child within us needs to live long and strong. So rekindle your own childhood too; dip into your memories, and see what games you enjoyed playing as a child… You can now play these with your children. As a child, I played Monopoly, Pictionary, tag a friend, and doge the ball with my building friends. When I play these games with my daughter, they bring back memories of my lost childhood and a smile on my face… When my daughter senses my joy, she feels a great happiness and calm within her too!
As a single parent, every day is children’s day for me … But why wait to be a single parent to become more responsible? Simply indulge in childhood pleasures by spending more quality time with your child.
The gift of parenting is a privilege. And with privileges come responsibilities…the biggest one being to ensure your child can experience true childhood — not one tainted with stress and technology, but one that is uninhibited, curious, and spontaneous, with a love for themselves, and a love for all of god’s creations.
This week, as India celebrates Children’s Day, make sure you make the moment special for your child and you… Make sure you don’t lose the child within you. Instead, get reborn once again…reborn to look at the world with a fresh set of eyes — the eyes of wonder…the eyes of a child!
What are your plans for Children’s Day? If you haven’t made any yet, do so soon…and let us know if our ideas were helpful.
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