Turn Your Anger into Compassion in Times of COVID-19
I was speaking to a friend, who thinks that China is behind the current lockdown and COVID-19. She even suggested that, perhaps, China did this on purpose to boost their economy… She vehemently insisted that the world should boycott all trade with China in the future.
Locked down in our homes, with frustration on the rise, this sentiment is natural. People want someone to blame as they feel helpless and angry.
Moreover, this is not even war, where the enemy is clear… This time, the enemy is a silent and invisible virus that has brought our lives to a grinding halt.
But, can we really claim, with full certainty, that novel coronavirus originated in China? Or that it’s a bioweapon, or, that it started from bats in a local market?
Theories and conspiracy theories will abound, but the truth is always relative and shifting.
And, whatever the truth may be, the fact is that this kind of information will only harm us and our future generation. The next generation will become more racist, pointing fingers at the Chinese, or any group of people, for every calamity, and not taking on any responsibility themselves.
As a parent, I’m worried that the stories made up from misinformation will impact my child adversely. We have no clue as to the exact emotional and mental damage the crisis will have on all of us after it ends.
The earth of course will heal to some extent during the lockdown.
So some good will come out of it; but even people should use this time to become more compassionate and kind rather than vengeful and destructive.
The idea should be to learn from nature and become more sensible and generous, rather than constantly consume and exploit the world around us.
I consciously try to show my daughter the brighter side of this lockdown, and try not to speak negatively about any group of people. I don’t want her to make any assumptions, and look at things from a negative perspective.
The need of the hour is to take the anger and hate within us, and turn it into something more beautiful and creative.
I don’t understand why we humans always feel it is our God-given right to punish the other… And, the news and media just adds to this mindset.
In the constant bombardment of recycled information, we forget about the present moment and instead use our imagination and memory to plot hate and revenge.
The most important thing now is to come out of this situation as winners, and by winners is meant, to come out alive and healthy — in body and mind!
Yes, perhaps some Chinese companies will profit, because they can manufacture what the world needs at this time, and because they have had a headstart in dealing with the epidemic…but, they have also lost near and dear ones, just like the rest of the world.
Jobs will be lost, financial markets will be down, and this will trigger more frustration and anger…but, like every economic cycle, countries will bounce back after a couple of months.
The anger and hate that we harbour within, is capable of living on in the minds of our children long into their adulthood.
Of course, they will experience fear and trauma because of the event, but it so for us to show them how to compassionately and creatively circumvent these times.
For all you know, COVID-19 may be a blessing in the long run — the earth will heal, financial markets will recover, and people will get closer to their loved ones.
While in the past, I often got swept away by what I read in the newspapers or saw on popular media, I am now (thanks to my spiritual practices) able to go beyond absorbing information at face value, and see everything from a broader perspective.
And, though I want my daughter to read the newspapers, stay informed, and make her own choices, I’m worried about her perspectives getting tinged by misinformation and negativity.
Does the child even really need to know about all the negativity in the world at such a young age?
My daughter reads news articles online alongside me, and I often have no answers for her when she asks questions on war, politics, violence and revenge…
Should I selectively read out the news to my nine-year-old daughter, or should I let her make her own judgements and learn along the way?
I don’t want her to pick sides because of misinformation or under peer pressure… And, even though I talk to her about issues, she always hears a different narrative from her friends in school, and this tends to confuse her.
It’s sad that we’re living in times of polarities, where one person has to be ‘right’ and the other ‘wrong’.
This is reflected in popular media too, especially on TV shows, most which are based on revenge and power politics… And, the end result of pitting right v/s wrong is only war and destruction.
My daughter witnessed her own parents fighting and arguing during my divorce. The air in the house was filled with revenge and toxicity, till we got a handle on the situation.
A similar scene played out in her school recently, when she was bullied into not playing in a sports’ team. On taking up the matter up with the school, I was told that this attitude was coming from the parents, and the coaches had warned us not to interfere or ‘face consequences’.
When children resort to intimidation, they are only imitating what their parents do at home…
This realisation was a deep disappointment for me and other parents.
So, I did not pursue the matter further, as I realised that it was first and foremost our responsibility as parents to educate our children not to bully, and, if they do get bullied, to decide if they simply want to react and take revenge, or instead forgive and hope that justice will be served.
It’s no surprise then, that kids are not shocked by the news. They see revenge as part of life. It is the new norm.
It’s essential that children understand the difference between accountability and revenge —
Revenge stems from hatred, while accountability emerges from awareness.
Yes, something wrong may have transpired; but there are alternatives to war, hate, politics and revenge. Even if the other party does not understand, step aside, and do your own duty with conviction and a sense of inclusion.
If we believe in the law of karma, it states that all actions get nullified or cancelled out eventually. If everything started at zero, it will end at zero. Hence, we needn’t worry about bringing the other person down or ‘teaching them a lesson’…the law of nature will take care of it anyway.
But, when we decide to hate and take revenge, we destroy the peace within us and around us, causing more damage to the world.
I remember, years ago, just after my divorce, I was ridiculed at a child’s birthday party that I took my daughter to. I did not know the etiquette for parents at these parties, so I simply fed my child on my own, when she was hungry.
As several in the crowd knew I was going through a divorce, they looked at me shamefully and laughed… I didn’t take the matter to heart, but my child got back home and burst into tears.
I tried to explain to her that it is only natural, as I did not understand the way things are done, and took the responsibility and blame on myself. This approach has since helped me correct myself first, before I try to change the world.
I’m not supporting oppression and prejudice in any way, or condoning injustice done to people in the workforce, in families, or by countries in the world… But, the problem is much deeper and for it to stop, the same approach of revenge is not the solution.
Like Gandhiji said — ‘An eye for an eye will only make the whole nation blind.’
In the past, I have often been ridiculed for my political choices, and been subject to acts that I cannot even speak of. But, I consciously decided not to react, and simply avoided any confrontation.
The true test of spirituality is when you can stand your resolve for peace and compassion, even when you are provoked with hate and anger…and this test is one you will face time and again on the journey.
There are several crimes committed on grounds of discrimination across the world, and it is easy for every party to retaliate with greater anger and force.
But, it is more sensible to contain the situation and respond objectively once the matter has settled down.
Being anti or pro something only leads to feelings of divisiveness… Instead, it’s more important to break the barriers of likes and dislikes, and gain greater clarity on a situation.
What is needed is to put our petty differences aside, and become compassionate and embrace those in need.
Thus, my appeal to all of you, and even to my daughter, is to do what is needed in the current moment with complete mindfulness and involvement. Moreover, do only what is in necessary at this point — which is, to survive the times in good health and spirit!
If we succeed, we would have won over the biggest enemy — the one within, who has thus far prevented us from being the loving and compassionate beings we’re meant to be.
So, let’s use this time on hand to educate ourselves and our children to be more responsible and conscious individuals, and feel more compassion toward nature and all of mankind!
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