Technology Connects the World but Disconnects Families
A large part of my relationship with my ex-wife saw us spending more time staring on our phones than talking to each other. I honestly don’t know why…because there was nothing in those phones besides senseless information.
But over a period of time the screen became more important than the spouse.
Perhaps, if I had paid more attention to what the relationship lacked, listened to the uncomfortable silences, and looked less at technology, I may have found a way to mend my broken relationship.
Today tech has assumed prime importance in all of our lives. It’s percolated down to our children, who are avid users of the tablet, TV, ebook, or phone.
Technology brands have successfully marketed products to children. Kids now only think of which model to buy next… ‘Buy, buy, buy’ is their new mantra.
Marketing strategies have been innovative, and billions are being spent to successfully brainwash children, and kill their innate spirit of discovery and invention.
But can one avoid technology in these times?
Of course not…particularly if your child lives in an urban environment, constantly exposed to latest gizmos and gadgets.
Moreover, an urban jungle has limited opportunities to spend time with nature. Thus the screen in front of the child becomes an easy escape.
Technology has drastically altered a child’s response to the world.
Children are now seeing the world through the phone, and also beginning to emote through emojis… Ultimately, destroying their social skills, intuition, awareness, and compassion for those around them.
As parents, it becomes important for us to set the right examples.
Our first solution is to distance ourselves from the phone and computer while around the child… Because your child only imitates what you do.
Another way is to spend more time with the child in some activity, so that the child doesn’t feel the need to resort to technology. Human interaction will automatically override any need for tech.
If the child talks about various technology brands, acknowledge it briefly, and then quickly switch the topic to something more playful and educational.
Till the age of 14, children should have as little exposure to technology as possible, and get more involved in sports and play.
I remember, as a kid, I spent most of my free time playing in my building compound. I would play for hours with my building friends. I would return home so tired, that all I needed was food and sleep.
Sports and outdoor activities are great diversions from tech.
Take kids for walks, to sports’ clubs, or for play dates that have outdoor activities like swimming or football.
Additionally, enroll them in classes for art, music, dance and drama…hobbies that will eventually help them improve their skills and awareness.
Technology too can be used, but in moderation, and purely for the conveniences it offers, like for communication, research, creativity, and connecting with friends and family…
If we use technology sensibly in front of our kids, they too will understand its true benefits.
The incessant buzzing of phones around us is slowly killing our natural intuitiveness. Keeping phones on silent will actually aid your interactions and awareness of the environment.
The constant shift of focus, from the activity you are working on to your phone, is not only detrimental to attention spans, but also leads to irritability.
Technology is also a recipe for a lazy mind and body…
When we use technology more, the brain is exercised less. Take for instance GPS, and our dependence on it nowadays. We are no longer growing our spatial reasoning, or sense of natural direction and alertness.
We are also becoming more passive in our lifestyles…as we sit more and move less, because of tech.
Technology is also being used an easy emotional escape…
Initially, I tried to drown the sorrow of my separation by immersing myself in technology. Staring at the screen became a way to silence the mind that was finding answers.
This often made me irritable with my daughter, and I’d snap at her when she came asking for attention.
In hindsight — and after taking the spiritual path — I’ve realised all technology really did, was to distance me from my emotions, and make me lose the human touch.
I was only superficially becoming closer to the world. In reality I was moving further away from myself, my friends, and family.
To get back to my original being, I took the help of spirituality. With a lot of hard work, I managed to brush off most of technology’s numbing effects.
The objective power of spirituality — to see things as they are — made me realize that technology had in fact, become an addiction for me.
Now I do my best to avoid using the phone and watching television when with my child.
One has to decide who is more important — the phone, TV, or the child?
I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes with my child that I made did with my wife…or in that case with any other relationship in my life.
Many parents often hand over their phones or tablets to their children to keep them distracted so that they can get some me-time.
The so-called ‘me-time’ only distances the child from human contact.
The child then behaves in the same way, snapping back when they look up from their screens. It also makes them more averse to human nature and emotions.
One should especially not let the child watch TV while eating, because that information is also being consumed by the child.
TV is also best avoided before the child sleeps and after she wakes up, as that’s when the child’s mind is fresh, and whatever it sees will stay with her for a long time. At bedtime, it’s better to read a story together or sing a song.
But the conscious use of technology can help you grow too…
Technology has helped me write more and spread my message to people across the world. Sharing my story helps me connect with other like minds, and we sometimes help each other.
The ultimate aim of technology is to ensure the well-being of humanity; it is up to us how we use it.
In the past few years, technology has helped me gain guidance on the spiritual path from masters across the world. This helped me gain perspective from my life situation, and bring back the missing meaning.
Once you learn how to manage technology, you realize that it has no real quality in itself, besides that of enhancing your life.
When I got a good handle over technology, I started using it to improve the quality of my child’s experiences. For example, she now uses tech to hone her music and dance skills.
Prudent use of technology, and disconnecting from it when necessary, can aid your growth.
By facing life as it is, rather than through the lens of technology, you will learn how to accept situations, and not romanticise them with a ‘filter’.
When everyone in the family accepts things as they are, they needn’t look outside for any other external source of acceptance.
Lastly, hug and kiss your child more often…
Let them feel the warmth and closeness of human connect, rather than the distance that technology creates… The closer you are to them, the more will they successfully disconnect from technology!
I would love to hear about your experiences of raising your child in the era of technology…
I’m sure many of you have struggled to find a balance with technology and family values… Do share your experiences, and help other readers with any tips or solutions you may have…
And if you liked the blog, don’t forget to applaud it, share it with your network, and follow Soul Dads for similar thought-provoking and soulful pieces.
To know more about Soul Dads, write in to souldads@souldads.com
