One Simple But Powerful Change To Help Your Child Be More Confident in Dealing With Challenges
Understand the power of ‘Yet’ in the context of a growth mindset
“I can’t solve this puzzle” → “I can’t solve this puzzle yet’
“I am not good at sports” → “I am not good at sports yet”
Help your child rephrase challenges using a simple but strong word — ‘yet’
This simple change in wording can fundamentally change how your child approaches challenges. Instead of labeling a situation as a success or failure, it gives them a path to success. Can you imagine the impact of perceiving every hurdle as an opportunity to improve?
The Transformative Power of ‘Yet’ in Education
Studies have shown that without a clear path to success, students often find alternative ways to feel good about themselves, without actually trying to improve.
- They were more likely to cheat on the next exam instead of studying more.
- They looked for someone who did worse than them so that they could feel good about themselves.
Renowned psychologist Dr. Carol S. Dweck highlights the transformative power of ‘yet’ in her TED Talk. She talks about a high school in Chicago where students aren’t given a ‘Fail’ grade; they receive ‘Not Yet’ instead.
This small change gave students hope that they were not failures and if they tried again, they could succeed. It helped them understand that success is a journey, and they are on the way to it.
Emphasizing ‘yet’ is the foundational step in cultivating a growth mindset in your child, teaching them the value of persistence and effort. It’s a simple strategy with profound impacts on how children perceive their capabilities and tackle challenges.
What is a Growth Mindset?
A growth mindset is a belief that one can get better at anything through dedication and hard work. Intelligence and talent are just the starting points and do not indicate our ultimate potential. This shifts the focus from talent and natural abilities to lifelong learning.
The concept was first introduced by Dr. Carol S. Dweck through her book Mindset.
As opposed to the growth mindset, a fixed mindset is the belief that intelligence is something we are born with and remains constant throughout life. It focuses on innate talent. As a result, children tend to derive their self-worth from talent and avoid situations that might call their natural abilities into question.
Why Must Parents Cultivate Growth Mindset in Their Children?
Our children are growing up in a rapidly changing world. To thrive, they have to keep evolving and a growth mindset guides them to the path of lifelong learning.
Children with a growth mindset would grow up to be resilient individuals who believe that no matter the situation, through the right effort, they can be successful.
Three Actionable Ways to Use ‘Yet’
- Praise Effort over Intelligence or Talent. If your child does something good, rather than saying “You’re really good at this,” say “Wow! You are good at this! You must have put in a lot of effort.” This would disconnect achievement from talent and would increase risk-taking ability.
- Normalize Struggle Through Storytelling: Share stories of famous personalities or even from your own life where struggles were evident, but success hadn’t been achieved “yet.” Explain how these challenges were crucial for growth and led to eventual successes, reinforcing that the path to mastery is always under construction.
- Model the Mindset: Demonstrate the use of “yet” in your own challenges, whether it’s about learning a new skill or improving at a hobby. When children see adults embracing learning curves, they understand it’s a natural part of achieving goals.
Integrating ‘Yet’ into Everyday Life
Home is where the change begins. Make “yet” a staple in your home. Correct each other playfully when someone forgets to use it, turning it into a family endeavor where growth is always expected, just not completed yet.
“Start small — change can begin with a word.”
Adopting the word “yet” might seem simple, but its impact is profound. This small change in your family’s dialogue can foster resilience and a joyful pursuit of lifelong learning in your child.
Are you ready to try it? The journey of growth starts with a single step, or in this case, a single word.
