Living a lie? Find your ‘WHY’
At 37, I Quit My Job to Rediscover Myself. Here Are Three Things I Learned After A Month.
Learn what I discovered about online success
"You have the perfect job — the salary, the title, the perks. You must be so happy!"
I tried and pretended. But deep down, I was unhappy.
The job had everything I had once wanted. Still, I did not feel content.
The pressure to feel lucky and happy was so immense that even discussing my feelings with friends and colleagues felt blasphemous.
"Be grateful for what you have. Many would kill for your job."
Work trickled into weekends and went to the point where I was no longer off work.
It was like a screensaver constantly running on my mind.
"Aren't you making good money? Then suck it up, dude."
Well, what if I don't want to 'suck it up'?
In addition, a year ago, I enrolled in a two-year Master's course, which took up what was left of my weekends.
Between the work, the course, and family, it was family that bore the brunt.
Although I worked from home, there were days when I could barely talk to my daughter and my wife.
There was always something else I had to do, or some deadline to meet.
One day, I realized, "I have a daughter looking up to me. Is this the life I want to teach her to lead?"
The future didn't look promising either. My boss always looked grumpy and busy. I didn't want to be in his shoes ten years down the line.
After a lot of deliberation, I decided to go all in on designing the life of my choice.
I thought that if I took just one year for myself, I might be able to find what I love and live the life I want. If it doesn't work out, I'd know I tried.
With that thought, I quit my job.
I was drawn to the idea of online hustles—the freedom to work anywhere, anytime, on any project, with a low startup cost.
In search of inspiration, I devoured books like $100 Startup and 4-Hour Workweek, podcasts, blogs, and social media.
I don't know about you, but my social media feeds are filled with people talking about how successful and happy they are and how simple it is to follow their path.
Man, I want some of that success and happiness for myself.
With time, I understood that succeeding online may be simple, but it's not as easy as it is portrayed to be.
That brings us to the first lesson I learned.
Lesson #1: Successful people short-circuit their success stories all the time
I discovered that people become millionaires by writing on the Internet, and I wanted to understand how to emulate their success.
Invariably, everyone said the same thing — it's simple: just keep writing.
While it's simple, it's never easy to keep writing.
I'm not saying they lie when they say you can become successful just by showing up.
That is what they feel they are doing.
But, they are subconsciously working towards something more significant than the act of writing itself. It has become so innate to them over time that they don't see it overtly to be able to tell the world.
They are working towards a purpose.
You may find someone who succeeds online by writing about fountain pens. They write about them day in and day out.
Realize that their purpose is to educate the world about fountain pens. Writing is just a manifestation of that purpose.
Repeatedly acting upon their purpose they turn it into a passion.
We tend to overlook the purpose because it’s not as evident as the passion, but the purpose is more important.
That is the second lesson that I learned.
Lesson #2: Make finding your purpose the #1 Priority
Passion is an action that brings you happiness.
The purpose is something bigger than you — it's how you contribute to the world.
It's the "why" behind what you do, the reason you create.
Here are the reasons finding your passion should be your priority:
Purpose leads to passion.
You might be a fitness freak and love talking to and advising people on fitness.
To that end, your passion can be writing or making YouTube videos about fitness.
The passion may evolve.
Today, it's making videos. Tomorrow, it might be creating online courses about fitness.
However, the purpose remains constant.
Purpose prevents distraction.
In the age of social media, people are constantly shoving their success in your face.
If you try to emulate their actions without a purpose, you’ll jump from one idea to another without success.
Success in anything takes time. It’s important not to get distracted.
You may find people becoming super successful very quickly talking about crypto.
It may feel tempting to have a piece of the action. But, a sense of purpose will help you stay focused.
You only do things that align with your purpose. Everything else is just noise.
Purpose eliminates the need for external metrics of success and makes you persistent.
When working on a definite purpose, you don't need external metrics like shares, likes, and comments to validate you.
If you love fitness, do you expect people to applaud you whenever you talk about it? Probably not.
You talk about it because it’s a way of life for you, and you would love others to be fit.
When you write a great article about it, you know that you've worked on your purpose and have learned something along the way.
Although you want people to read it, you will not be deterred if they don’t.
Purpose helps tide over difficult times. You know you're working towards a greater goal.
Once you have your purpose sorted, you ignore everything else, show up, and do what aligns with it.
When repeated enough times, the purpose becomes intrinsic.
Then, when you become successful and people ask, "How did you get here?" you say, "Well, I got here just by showing up!"
If you are trying to succeed online, you must drop everything else and focus on finding your purpose.
You can discover your purpose by asking the following questions:
- What do I love reading about?
- What are the kinds of podcasts and shows I like watching?
- What do I love talking to people about?
- What do I spend most of my money on?
- If all external metrics of success were removed, what is the one thing I would invariably do?
In my case, I realized that I loved reading and talking about positivity and self-improvement.
I order a self-improvement book almost every month and love gifting books to my friends that would improve their lives.
I genuinely want people to get better. That’s my purpose. I am trying to manifest that through my writing.
Be honest with the answers. You’re doing this for yourself, not for someone else.
If you’re experiencing burnout, it’s because deep down, you have an alignment problem in your beliefs, emotions, values, or behaviors. Often, it’s because you’re serving two masters: your goals and someone else’s version of what your life is meant to be. Release the expectations and run your own race.
— Calvin Coyles
That brings us to the third lesson I learned.
Lesson #3: Don't be a people pleaser
You and I have something in common. We both have a dream.
But, every day, we find a reason to kill it or choose not to acknowledge it because we are scared of others' opinions about us.
Yes, we are social animals and crave approval now and then. But, trust me, you don't need it — at least not as much as you think you do.
I have not told my friends that I quit my job to pursue my passion for writing. They will not understand.
It's not their fault, though.
They mean well, but their beliefs and ideals influence their worldviews. So, there's no reason to let their views distort my picture.
And, when it comes to your loved ones, they'll come around even if you fail.
Whatever your purpose in life is, there will always be people who resonate with you as long as you're not doing something evil.
Work on making their lives better. No one else matters.
The experience of quitting my job to rediscover myself is scary but liberating.
I have no idea how this will turn out, but I'll come out of it wiser.
Till then, I'll keep making tiny dents in the universe and see how it turns out.
Cheers! All the best on your journey!!!
