How I conquered my 20s: 30 lessons for a fulfilling life
As my 30th birthday has just passed this June, I’ve been reflecting on the last decade of my life, reviewing everything I’ve learned about handling interpersonal conflict, identifying and enforcing boundaries, and gaining confidence in myself in any environment. Today, I’m sharing some of my favorite hard-earned lessons, and I would love it if you could share any of yours in the comments. Let’s learn and grow together!
- Embrace self-love and grace, for it is the key to your empowerment and confidence, even when you make a mistake. Shame can be transmuted into wisdom for how to operate in the future.
- Anytime you feel a negative emotion, acknowledge it and find a healthy way to release it. This could be through prayer, meditation, or any other method that works for you.
- Trying something new will always bring nervousness; view this as excitement and keep moving forward!
- Your peace is nonnegotiable.
- If someone judges you negatively before attempting to get to know you, that is not your problem to resolve.
- Remember, setting boundaries is not just about your well-being; it’s about respecting yourself and taking control of your life.
- How you enforce your boundaries isn’t for someone else to decide.
- Develop rituals that help you become self-validated. For instance, start each day by affirming your worth or end each day by reflecting on your achievements. Others’ opinions are fickle and can change at any moment, but your self-validation should remain constant.
- TRUE POWER doesn’t require you to play mind games with others; it’s a sense of inner knowing and self-respect.
10. Identifying who likes you for you, not who they want you to be, will save you from excessive disappointments.
11. It costs nothing to be kind to others but everything when you are not.
12. Your self-esteem plummets when you act out of alignment with your morals and values.
13. Knowing your WHY in everything you do lessens the chance that you’ll feel regret.
14. Others will try to project their insecurities onto you as criticisms of you, and you decide whether to let them succeed.
15. Discernment is your best friend and a friendship you’ll need to continue nurturing over a lifetime.
16. What others think about you will always be less important than what you KNOW about yourself.
17. Embrace yourself FULLY; the One above handcrafted you.
18. You can relive specific family dynamics, meaning you can repeat patterns and behaviors you’ve observed in your family. Alternatively, you can enhance future generations’ livelihood and emotional wellness by consciously making different choices and setting new standards.
19. Kindness is a STRENGTH in this world where people pretend that cosplaying as a Grinch is the only option.
20. Your integrity is worth millions. $$$ What would you do to keep its worth intact?
21. Be vulnerable with people who have demonstrated that they will treat you with consideration as if you are a diamond in their hands.
22. Be curious and learn to be okay with being wrong.
23. Constructive criticism > unhelpful and mean-spirited criticism. Learn to distinguish between the two when communicating with others and when they are communicating with you.
24. Be willing to apologize when someone misinterprets something you say or do, even if that wasn’t your intention. (only with vetted, safe people, aka people who are self-aware and not engaging in bad-faith arguments)
25. If you give grace to others, you also deserve grace.
26. Speaking up for yourself means being okay with the consequences. These could be anything from a disagreement with a friend leading to removing the friendship to negotiating a pay raise at a job and your manager saying no, giving you the final nudge to leave and find your next job with a higher income. It’s best to be prepared and okay with these potential outcomes.
27. Not all confrontations are harmful. To be heard and to hear others, you must be willing to pick up the phone and answer the call.
28. At most, only go three consecutive days without exercise.
29. When you look good, you feel good!
30. Life is more exciting when dancing out of your comfort zone.
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