I choose to be different
Self-love is the way
It’s not my fault, but it is my responsibility.
It’s not my fault I had a mother who didn’t know she could love herself and so she met a man who only knew how to treat her as the shell she thought she was.
My father was also an empty shell, void of compassion, empathy, and kindness. It can be so painful to feel. I know how it hurts.
That is not my fault. And no matter how much they fought against the love that exists. I came anyway. I came, and it’s my responsibility to be the love that I am. It is my truth and I will be it, anyway. No one can take it from me. It feels like my responsibility. It is mine.
I am no longer a victim of their self-hate. That is their choice. I choose love. I choose to be different.
I love them unconditionally. I am grateful for this life and the wisdom I hold because of their pain. The pain they didn’t know they were handling me. It can be so painful to feel. I know how much it can hurt to feel.
It is not their fault, but it was their responsibility…it is currently too much for them to carry
And it is not my job to fix it for them or to let the disempowering life they gave me as a child continue into my choices of today. Into adulthood. It is my responsibility.
I choose love. I choose love because I am love and in a world of options, why would I choose to behave in that same self-loathing way? Why would I choose to be anything less?
My nervous system freezes when God offers me the goodness it made me to enjoy and receive. The ego and old stories try to turn me away, but no, it is my responsibility to allow myself the life it made me enjoy. To learn to trust. To learn to open myself up to a different way. I can heal.
I can heal myself selfishly and without the burden of wanting to take them with me.
It is my responsibility to take care of myself, and not the mother and father who couldn’t know how to love me. It’s not their fault, and it’s not my responsibility.
I choose to be different.
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