Breaking Free From the People-Pleasing Trap
My journey away from people-pleasing
At the end of 2022, I felt miserable and utterly lost. I knew I needed to change, or I would continue to spiral and probably wouldn’t make it another 5 years.
Several years ago, I read 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do and recently decided to pick it up again. This time reminded me of how much I loved the book the first time. Somehow, I had retained No. 5, Don’t worry about pleasing everyone, in my subconscious mind throughout my depression.
Reflecting on 2022, I feel as if I was living a life that wasn’t truly mine. I was a foreigner living in an underdeveloped country; many of the ways of life I am accustomed to do not always translate here. To keep the peace and pleasantry, I held my tongue, withheld my opinion, and granted passes far too often to undeserving people.
I felt exhausted and depleted and was ultimately left with mental bruises and scars with no one to tend to. I wanted to feel like myself again; I wanted to be authentic; I tried to regain my autonomy.
At the beginning of 2023, I decided to become more authentic -say what I mean, mean what I say, and stop people pleasing.
What is a people-pleaser to begin with?
