Connections with people are open-ended stories
Human connections have always been my favorite journey. Not in a simplistic manner, how we connect in a genuine way. From the first few seconds of falling in (or out of) love, to the very moment of transition to the chaotic reality of getting to know each other. This often comes either as a reward or as a threat to extinguish the initial spark.
One morning I was meditating and suddenly saw images of different people I knew (and cherished)around me. They were all placed very specifically. Not in terms of space, but in terms of their meaning. We don’t usually look at people this way. We know we meet someone for a reason, but hardly realize there is a special place in our inner system, which has been reserved for them long ago … by ourselves. And there is only one person for each place.
This epiphany came with its repercussions. The circle of people I wanted to keep in close proximity became more defined. And decreased at least twofold.
You can have people all mixed up inside of you.
Or you can have them each at their own residence.
And when this happens, every connection becomes easily treasured (yet always lacking the right words to describe).
Often, we hope our relationships with someone will build into a graceful narrative and, in the end, reveal itself by all the rules of elegant storytelling.
But instead — many of them remain unclear, or not enough, or abandoned.
Some connections continue simmering for years.
Others become a pearl that we want to keep in its shell.
I used to have a collection of such shells. It almost resembled a phantom museum inside of me where this collection was the main heritage.
I thought that at any time, I could reach out and touch them. And miraculously the pearl would unwind into a precious connection again. Until one of us would close things out with an understanding respectful smile and the connection will go back to the museum till next time.
Like a Christmas movie that carries you into the bittersweet anticipation and the melancholy of time going by — these pearls, or such connections, are always an illusion.
The lingering dreams haunting us, they are not meant to become anything else.
All your meaningful connections will always be unfinished. They will only find their outcomes, quick fixes, or temporary resolutions inside of you.
Because there is something alien for us as humans in stories with an open ending. Our thirst for completion makes us try to rearrange them and invent “the last scene”.
Long before we even realize the ripples someone is leaving on our timeline, we think we understand the meaning of those relationships. But we barely circle it at a distance. As long as you hear the echo — there is still a connection happening.
Because all people have their own places inside of us — leave them where they are …
