My Pet situation
There has been a slight surge in the number of cats and dogs visiting me. They often show up for their daily quota of food and the dosage of love. Altogether there are 3 dogs and 2 cats, of which the smallest is “Mini”, a tiny baby cat. The most expressive one is “Pepsi,” a mid-sized dog that can go crazy on seeing me. “Doggo”, is a very straightforward dog about his likeness and dislikeness. He was born with a limping condition but is getting better. “Kitkat”, is a grown-up cat but not so friendly with others. “Papi” is super playful and mature.
They are all free animals that do not belong to anyone. They visit and stay with me for the most part of the day, in between they take breaks to visit a few other houses around the locality and finally around late evening they disperse to their respective sleeping locations. The cats and dogs haven’t gelled with each other completely yet. Occasional fights over food spurts up, but nothing critical has ever occurred.
Climax day
My daily spiritual routine ends around 9 Am and on opening the main door to portico, Papi is already there lazying on the doormat. He yawns after seeing me and then greets me with his casual stretch while sniffing me. I pet him a little and then begin the preparation of my breakfast. This is the point when the main character of this story makes a dramatic entry. Meekingly meowing from the entry gate, Mini joins me in the kitchen and starts brushing her body against my leg.
Background
She arrived in my life about a week ago. I was busy writing something, so she entered my living room. Her tone was feeble. She didn’t know me at all and yet looked at me with complete conviction without any fear. As usual, I reacted with an aww, for a small cat clicked my tongue at it. I extended my hand to brush through her head, and she started meowing more. It became a rhythm where, after each brush, she would meow. I immediately felt a strong current of affection for her. The moment I withdrew my hand, she jumped onto my lap and started to purr.
My love for her was getting stronger day by day and I would admit I started missing her presence when she was out. I remember a moment during one of my evening compassion meditations when I sent a burst of love to her. It was so satisfying and wholesome feeling.
Her presence time started increasing. It was the first time I ever had a cat with me most of the time. I started engaging her all the time and she demanded more attention. I was getting distracted by each move she made and felt this awareness of being less tranquil. I was feeling the need to get back to my zen mode of being alone. I could see my reactions in the form of minor irritations when she would climb up the desk and step on my keyboard while writing something. I felt a little drained out of giving continuous attention.
The drama
So today, when she was brushing against my leg in the kitchen, I was already having a mixed feeling. I fed her milk and made a plan to stop being too attentive to her. It was evident to her that my affection was lower than usual. She kept insisting on more attention but I kept to myself, busy doing my work. I had an online class so I left her out in the portico to play around and locked my door. Almost half the class she was meowing outside the door and had left by the time it was over.
The entire evening she wasn’t there and I was feeling immense love for her. Even the next morning she didn’t show up. I went out of my house to casually search for her and she was sitting in the middle of a small garden facing the sun. I clicked my tongue to call her, but she glanced at me and then ignoring went back to gazing at what she was gazing at. At that moment she silently communicated her feelings about being rejected and I understood it all. She stopped talking to me for a couple of days and I respected her decision.
Pure Emotions: The stepping stone to spirituality
The spiritual journey gradually deepens our understanding of ourselves. In this quest, we come in close encounters with our deep emotions. Our heart opens up to genuinely feel the emotions of love, compassion, and kindness. These are natural emotions of our pure self, or heart as we call it. All other emotions of anger, jealousy, greed, fear, etc. are reactions to situations based on our tendencies.
In this journey, we become aware of our emotions and accept it. Acceptance is a pre-requisite for clearing through the reactionary superficial emotions and getting in connection with the heart. An important point is not judging ourselves while accepting. Judging is the process of a reaction to a reaction and inhibits progress.
Acceptance is a beautiful process. One can only accept one’s emotion if one truly sees two distinct states. If one is accepting that he is angry then clearly at the moment he is distinguishing a state of calmness apart from his current state. This acceptance opens possibilities in our minds to begin actions for proceeding to the state that seems more natural/sustainable to them.
The important point is that deep down our minds know what is natural or sustainable. Our minds are one sort of projection of our souls and how can’t they know the true nature of its projector? Thus this process of acknowledging and accepting the upper layers of our minds that produce reactions, entering into the deeper layers that are natural, and yet crossing even that to reach beyond the mind constitutes spiritual awakening.
Now it is not difficult to comprehend that the path to our soul passes through our heart(the deeper natural layer of the mind). When we open ourselves to feel love, kindness, and compassion, our heart gives us a safe passage. It is crucial to note that these feelings need to be genuine. Adulterated ones with some external motive of show-off, garnering fame, etc. don’t have much value in the pursuit of spirituality.
Every instance of feeling that pure emotion of affection for our mother when we miss her and giving her a visit, every instance of feeling kindness for a homeless person and helping him in whatever way possible, every instance of helping an old person with his visa application out of compassion is an act that takes our awareness closest to our pure soul.
The Ending
After two days, she saw me from a distance while I was returning from the market. She followed me to the house and with her usual feeble meowing she brushed on my legs again. I fed her some of her favorite snacks which she cherished with gusto. She then came near my work table and lifted both of her front legs to signal that she was ready to jump back on my lap. She purred for some time and slept for almost an hour while I wrote this article.
I am grateful to feel all those emotions. Every instance of feeling love, kindness, and affection gives me an opportunity to get closer to pure consciousness.
If you seek help in improving your mental health or spiritual practice, please check my mindfulness/meditation sessions.
Check my book Boxing Thoughts: A Technique to master your mind and Get into Meditation.
