7 Tips to Make New Friends at College
A quick guide from me ❤
Here they are!
❤ Smile
People at college may not show it, but they’re looking to make friends as much as you. Especially the first-years. If you look at a person, and even if they are a stranger to you, try smiling at them once. There’s a high possibility they will smile back. What this exchange creates is a positive vibe, and a sunny atmosphere that leaves the field wide open for banter. And yes, small talk can be mind numbing, but it’s an art in itself if you can be light hearted and relaxed about it.
All your closest friends were once strangers after all, and you had to wade through the awkward starting conversation too. So just ask them questions to get them talking. Be sure to be genuine though, and don’t keep a smile plastered on your face for people you don’t want to be smiling at. But if someone looks interesting to you, just be a little brave and smile at them.
❤ Stay Humble
To be interesting, be interested in other people. If you believe you are talking to someone ‘inferior’ to you, it will show through in your mannerisms. It is a mirage to believe that you are better than the other person.
It’s great to believe that you are the best for your own self, but never believe the lie that you are perfect and better than every other person around you. While meeting new people, if you simply talk about your achievements and your life — you might have followers but you will never gain a true friend. Humility is a mindset, and not a wallpaper coating to make you a more likeable person. Be genuinely humble, and you will have more friends. More importantly, regardless of whether people like you or not, you’ll like yourself. That’s the one like you can control, and the one that matters the most.
❤ Be Easygoing
The people you befriend at the beginning of college may not stay your friends till the end. One of the key changes from teenagehood to adulthood is realising that sometimes, friends change and grow apart. It’s important to listen to what your gut instinct is telling you about the other person.
A bond that was once beneficial might be harming you now. So don’t hold on to friends who don’t value your presence in their lives. If they can’t bother with you, stop bothering with them. Also, don’t take the matters of ‘cliques’ and ‘belonging’ too heavily upon your heart, or else you will often find yourself in emotional turmoil if the same friends aren’t around you. Be easygoing and flow with the breeze to one group of people and the next. Try to know a great variety of people instead of simply circling through the same four. Breathe light and carry yourself through friendships with ease. Trust the wisdom within you, and listen to your instincts. There’s always a new good person around the corner to meet.
❤ Approach People
People often turn out differently to your first impression of them. The mystery lies in finding out. You only have the chance to befriend the person you admire from afar if you can summon the will to talk to them first. Try it and you will be surprised how far your good intentions can take you.
I have a few stories about this. There was an anime-drawing, quiet girl in my art class who was dressed in all black. She has now turned out to be a loud and endlessly energetic friend who gives everyone bone crushing hugs, and I think she hugs me just a bit harder just to hear me complain. You see that she didn’t turn out to be as shy as I had imagined.
To give you another example, we once had a music talent hunt in autumn on campus. There was this pixie-haired, amazing singer kid who got the whole college on its feet while performing on stage. Afterwards, I approached her, complimented her song and exchanged numbers with her. By the time we spoke enough to finally become friends, she turned out to be quite funny and nerdy about the same things I was. Not exactly the flamboyant person I first imagined, because she turned out to be shyer than I had thought. She was also more like me than I had expected.
Therefore, you see that it’s truly worth it to take the first step. It’s way to begin new things. You can’t let fresh air and sunlight into your house if you don’t open the windows, right?
❤ Give Genuine Compliments
I have complimented total strangers in college when I liked something about them. It can be for their dress, shoes, their hair or even their custom decorated phone case. I once complimented a girl’s outfit at the beginning of term. She’s a close friend today. I just said, ‘Hello, cool outfit!’ and then gave her a college tour because it was her first day. That got our friendship going.
You can genuinely compliment the friends you have already made too. When someone makes an effort into a poem, a painting or wins a contest, or tries something different, it barely takes anything out of you to appreciate it. It makes both of you feel great. It takes a bit of courage, but that’s just ordinary everyday bravery, isn’t it? Try and summon it. Do you remember the last time someone gave you an unexpected compliment? I bet it made your day.
❤ Express Your Talent
One of my subjects is instrumental music, so my ukulele travels with me to college, in my backpack everyday. It’s essentially a small guitar. I enjoy having it with me, and it really helps my mood when I feel blue. It happens to be visible at pretty much all times from my backpack, and you will not believe how many times total strangers in college stopped me at random to ask me to play it. What can I say? It’s the magic of the ukulele. It’s a friend magnet.
Similarly — apply this to yourself. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? Do you like doing impressions, or singing, or rapping? Do you dance, or do poetry? Art or sports? Doodling? Whatever hobby you enjoy, if you share it with others, there is a good chance you will attract like minded people towards you. These are the people you want to be friends with.
❤ Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
Remember that while it’s good to have a friend, you don’t need one to feel complete. Never be uncomfortable in your own company.
You will discover that talking to people all the time is exhausting, therefore, learning to observe and enjoy the world on your own is a skill worth learning. On the first day of college, I knew no one. I was quite tired by the end of day and walked around campus with my earbuds in. I listened to good music and observed the trees and birds around me. Nature made me feel really relaxed and happy. It was a company that gave solace to the soul.
The moral is that there is great strength to be found in being comfortable in your own company. Being at peace with yourself also shields you from hungering for attention or emotional validation from other people. To feel steady and strong on your own is the key to adult life. You have yourself, and at the end of the day, that will always be enough. Have faith in this truth.
So dear reader, go forth and conquer the friendship game! I believe many amazing new bonds await you. I hope these tips helped you out.
