The Truth about Soup…

The only type of “soup” I want to eat is syrup soup, smothered all over my chewy red velvet pancake with crispy bacon on the side. I guess I’m just a teeth person… I like to chew my food. Not drink it. Photo by Taylor Seely.

Soups are made of chicken, soups are made of veggies, soups are made of spices and herbs and other flavorful ingredients. Soups are also made of broth, but if we want to get real in-depth, then it’s worth noting broth is made from animal carcasses.

My point is:

Soups are meant to be eaten and are therefore the combination of a variety of yummy items. But soup cannot be eaten because soup is primarily liquid. Soup is a drink.

There, I said it.

So why people try and get me to eat soup — be it chicken noodle, tortilla, or dare I say that nasty cold meal that’s not a meal, gazpacho, I have no clue. I’m a human, not a fish. (But even fish chew, right?) I was given teeth for a reason, and I, for one, like to use my teeth.

Photo from Flickr, by RMillerTbone.

I’m not saying all soup is nasty. Some soup is great. I don’t mind tortilla soup, and broccoli cheddar from Paradise Bakery is probably the best thing ever. But let’s be real — it’s only topnotch if you order it with the sourdough bread bowl. The bread, i.e. the part you chew with your healthy and strong teeth, is the real MVP. And even tortilla soup comes with crunchy tortilla chips.

I guess I’m just a teeth person. Chewing something before I can digest it makes me feel accomplished. It makes me feel fulfilled — not to mention, actually full. If you don’t have to chew your meal, then are you even digesting anything?

It seems to me that it would just pass right through you… which sounds awfully familiar to water or coffee… or lemonade. And what are those?

Ah yes, drinks. Not meals. So I repeat, soup is a drink, not a meal.

You see, this guy’s got the picture. Teeth are where it’s at. No more drinking our meals. Photo from Flickr, by Chthona.