Spank Easter: At It Like Rabbits

SpankChain
Apr 29 · 4 min read

Spring has officially sprung, and everything’s coming up roses over at Spank HQ. Temperatures aren’t the only things heating up as we step into the new season. 2021 just keeps getting steamier as we roll out sexy new features and updates to improve our platform. Here’s the latest for those of you who haven’t been keeping up.

Friendly reminder

Back in February, we rolled out international banking support for SpankPay. If you bank in China, Hong Kong, Brazil, Mexico, Australia, or anywhere in Europe, you can withdraw your funds and transfer them abroad. Cue our world take over in 3, 2, 1…

Spank makes it Pop!

We recently announced our forthcoming NFT platform—Pop Shot—to much fanfare and excitement. Get hyped for our Spank Amateurs 1st Edition packs set to drop in the coming weeks, and see our latest announcement for the details!

Spank Ventures

A few weeks ago, our team was denied fulfillment on a merchandise order from The Recon Group due to “our values not being aligned”. Our CEO Ameen called to check, and our contact confirmed they were “cleaning up their brand”, and “not interested in working with any adult entertainment businesses”.

Now, this kind of discrimination against adult businesses is a common theme. The first service provider to kick us out was MailChimp, then our bank, and the list goes on. We even got denied a smart contract audit once, on the basis of our brand. Well, we feel that if the business world insists on marking adult oriented services with a scarlet letter, then we find ourselves compelled to throw a . The most productive response, we decided, would be to attempt to correct a much larger discrimination against the adult industry businesses—the exclusion from capital investment.

Most of our VC friends have as part of their fund’s agreement with their investors, a “Vice Clause”, that prevents them from investing in ventures around weapons, drugs (including weed & alcohol), and adult-businesses. As a result of this systemic discrimination, capital formation, innovation, and cultural progression in the adult industry has been unfairly hampered.

Spank Ventures fixes this. Instead of avoiding the adult industry, we’re going to focus on it. We know that the sex positivity revolution is underway, we believe it’s going to shake up our world big time, and so we want to be the ones to accelerate and profit from the businesses driving it.

We are currently recruiting our first investors, so if you’re interested, please DM. Likewise, please DM if you’re an adult business looking for investment.

Easter Surprise

Christ wasn’t the only that had risen this past Easter Sunday. We spiced up the holiday with a bunny-themed contest hosted by the one and only Brenna Sparks, and boy oh boy, did it deliver some tasty treats.

Coming in at first place with the most retweets and the lucky winner of $650 was the one and only Elise Kennedy who kept things pretty Christian, but hey, whatever puts the cream your Cadbury Egg…

Our 2nd place winner did not come to play. Her $350 prize was more than well deserved. Let’s hear it for Allison Ivy. Lord have mercy!

And because we’re nothing if not generous lovers, we also sent $200 to five randomly selected Easter babes.

SpankMate of the Month

What’s made of sugar and spice, and everything nice? Our SpankMate of the Month: Lacey London. Don’t let that girl-next-door smile fool you, this baddie is one of the most crypto-savvy cuties in the game. Get ready to drool and be schooled, because this beach bunny has just as much brains as she does booty.

Stage Name: Lacey London

What are your ambitions?

I want to say trade crypto!

Any hidden talents?

I can speak 3 different languages

What turns you on?

Consistency, being thoughtful

What turns you off?

Hagglers, bad boys.

What’s your ultimate dream job?

Day trading crypto for a hedge fund.

Your ideal late night snack is ____.

Hersheyʼs pretzel bites.

What do you love to do when no one’s watching?

Dance.

What drives you wild?

A good smelling man.

What do you find sexy in a partner?

Dominance

You may look innocent but ____.

I have a construction business!

Your favorite body feature is ____.

My bunny teeth.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Bacon.

Connect with SpankChain

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