I cried on a business call…
…and I’m better for it.
In my last post I shared that my husband has been in and out of the hospital for the last four months with a serious illness. It took me four months to share that with anyone other than close friends and family. I think it was because I didn’t want pity (it’s the worst) or to have to answer too many questions. But then something happened that made me realize that I was seriously depriving myself of others’ support and understanding. I was on a call with one of our artists, Jacqueline Schmidt, discussing an exclusive iphone case collection we were working on and I had to abruptly interrupt our chat to take an important call from my husband’s doctor. When I finally called her back, I felt the need to explain and spent a few minutes telling her everything.
Her reaction brought tears of gratitude to my eyes. She told me that she was so glad I’d told her what I was going through — “that if we don’t share these things, others can’t be there for us”. She offered her support and help in any way she could (but no pity!), and I know she meant it. Then she told me her own inspiring, heartbreaking but triumphant story, one that I hope she’ll let me share one day, or better yet, share herself. I hung up the phone not only feeling less alone in my fear and sadness but also feeling less scared and sad. I felt connected to and supported by Jacqueline and every other person out there who has ever gone through or is going through challenging times. All because I decided to share the truth about what was happening in my life.
I think so many of us feel that we need to show only a brave, confident face. The face of success, the face of a winner, the face of someone who can balance it all and who maybe has it all. It’s as if we feel that showing any vulnerability at all will somehow make us more vulnerable. But I’m learning that the opposite is true. When we only show that side of ourselves, we lose out on so much. We lose the chance to truly connect on a human level with another person, to give and receive understanding and support without involving our ego. These days, those seemingly insignificant moments of connection are my fuel. I am aware of them everyday — with my family and friends, the amazing BRIKA team, my co-founder and newest best friend Jen, my husband, the incredible artisans and designers we work with at BRIKA and most amazingly of all — perfect strangers I come across in every day life. In our quest to do it all, to be better or the best, these honest connections ground us and bring us back to a common, universal purpose to do it together.
