Not ready before your time

be kept awhile longer where you are mine alone and i am only yours

I am inspired by this writing by Toko-Pa which sends me into a new place, all while I’m set on focusing on that which I need to do in this moment. I’m not sure what that is actually; I’m letting life guide me, distracted or not.

Do not be ready before your time.
There’s no knowing what symmetry is marshalling itself below this confusion.
First the long attentiveness of listening must be paid.
Don’t brave your way out of this husk while it serves to protect your impressionability.
Let yourself be kept a while longer in these origins where you are mine alone and I am only yours.
Let something sweet be made of our secret.
Put not your offering into the world too soon.
Let it ripen in the guardianship of your trepidation.
Let this fallow time be stretched, for it is in this unreadiness that beauty takes its form.
…You will need to remember what grace was allowed only by your long staying hidden.

I have been ready since the first time I can remember. It was the night I told you so. And this never stopped. But being hidden has allowed me to listen. I listen to what I’ve trapped inside me. I move it around and it speaks. I can always stand the reason to go on, not listening to impatience that unfolds at the seams of a story I remember—each day. Our story was never over. I’m still here in our secret, yet I am offering bit by bit, in the stream of your words still echoing in my brain. You are burned into my brain. Could it be that I am yours. Yes. I am in one wing of our eternal breeze blown to you.