Between Extremes: A Series to Capture the Bipolar Experience
For those who are struggling with the extremes, let’s explore the in between.
As part of my coping mechanism for the diagnosis, I’ve decided to create a series that captures the realities and the experiences of being Bipolar.
Let me start with an introduction.
Hi, I’m Andrath, I am 22 years old and I have recently been clinically diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder with psychotic features and let me tell you, I did not take that diagnosis lightly.
Let me start with what got me to seek psychiatric help in the first place. Before I knew about the diagnosis, I got into a series of unfortunate events that must’ve triggered it one after the other. My beloved pet died, I’ve gone through a breakup, my family got into another rift, I isolated myself for a good while, I quit my jobs and I am now fully reliant on my parents financially. When I started having suicidal thoughts, I went to get psychiatric help in the midst of mental desperation.
Until now, I’m finding it hard to go through college knowing that I am late in finishing my degree and it’s even harder when going through my episodes.
I have been taking my medication but currently, I am considering not taking them (which, of course, I know is a terrible idea) but I can’t finance my medication. I’ve been recklessly burning through the savings I’ve worked hard for and that’s another trigger that I have going on with myself but I also have every day to survive. I’m still not doing well with this whole being Bipolar thing. I didn’t realize it would be just as hard to navigate when I know about it compared to when I didn’t. I still have a lot of manic tendencies that I am trying to acknowledge but because I’m new at this, the coping and the navigation isn’t perfect. I thought it would be easier with the medication but it hasn’t really been. I’m still in the process of figuring out the right doses and ruling out other psychological disorders which I might disclose in another story.
So as part of ways to cope, I’m picking up writing again as I once did when I was a lot younger, when I had a lot more passion in me to begin with which slowly tapered away as I grew older. I was wise for my age when I started writing but I am now realizing that I must’ve just grown up too fast and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, neither is it a good thing.
Here on Speaking Bipolar, I have an avenue to share my experiences from the past, the present, and what I see for myself in the future. That’s why I’m starting this series, Between Extremes. I hope to reach other people with my stories and gain insights and newer perspectives in return. I am hoping to answer questions I would not have, otherwise, asked myself. I want to capture both the high highs and the low lows and I’m seeking other people who can relate to that too.
