Crashing and Burning
It will pass
What is wrong with me?
It happened again. My alarm went off at 7 am and I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. I needed to get up and shower, feed my guinea pigs, and finish putting my lunch together so I could leave by 8 am for my job. It’s roughly a 45 minute drive to get there.
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t will myself to get out of bed. It felt like a large slab of stone rested on top of me, physically preventing me from getting up. My body felt heavy, my mind empty. So I reached for my phone and sent a text to my director: Good morning. I’m not feeling well today and will need to use a day of FMLA.
The thing is, I’ve used so much FMLA this year that I’ve burned through all of my PST and PTO. Now whenever I use FMLA, it’s unpaid. That’s the last thing I need with so much debt hanging over my head.
I turned over in bed, pulled the covers up to my chin, and slowly fell back asleep.
I work as a referral’s specialist at a FQHC (Federally Qualified Health Center) clinic. It’s not the most glamorous or exciting job in the world. It’s pretty monotonous. But it’s perfect for my bipolar disorder — not a whole lot of stress, not too fast paced.
The reason I took this job is because my previous one sent me into a mixed episode. I was a case…
