I Have Bipolar Disorder; It Doesn’t Have Me

Fighting to Control My Own Destiny

Wendi Lady - It's a Wendiful World
Speaking Bipolar

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Photo by Artem Maltsev on Unsplash

I stake no claim on the words. Let them fall as they may.

As they will.

As they must.

…The literary bloodletting.

The silence is deafening. There is no sense of time save for a vague awareness that I have an appointment in the morning.

I keep waiting for someone to tell me what to do. To make some demand. To pick a fight. To assert their dominance and authority. To make me feel small.

On that same token, I keep waiting for comfort, for a soothing touch, for a proclamation that someone cares. To make me feel important.

Neither come.

I am on a cosmic island, floating without the familiarity of gravity. Nothing roots me. Nothing grounds me. Nothing holds me in place.

I am, yet I am not.

I kept my promise to myself yesterday. I woke early, showered — dressed comfortably yet stylishly. I put on makeup. I even put on jewelry.

Odd, that piece of jewelry. I got it in my early thirties — a faerie sitting on a half-moon with an amethyst hanging from it. I forgot it existed. I don’t know how it surfaced — but there it was in a ziploc baggie in a…

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Wendi Lady - It's a Wendiful World
Speaking Bipolar

Wendi deep-dives through words into realms of spirituality, vulnerable self-discovery, self-awareness, personal development, empowerment, and mental wellness..