Just One More…
Bargaining with life
Just one more game
I tell myself as I put off that important email that I’m supposed to be sending
my heart pounds in my chest
and my breathing constricts
I’ll be ready to write it when this game is over.
Just one more chapter
I promise myself as I delay bedtime for a bit longer
my thoughts are bleak and they’re racing
I’ll be ready to sleep when this book is complete.
Just one more day
I vow until I make healthy changes
I’ll write more, I’ll run more, I’ll even start meditating
I’ll be the best version of myself and things will get easier
I just need to wait until my anxiety goes.
But time marches on
Without knowing your bargains
And it passes more quickly than you were prepared
And here I still am
with emails to send and with deals unfilled
still waiting for the perfect time
that won’t come without action.