The Heartbreaking Reality of Quitting Mental Health Medication
A personal journey through the consequences of cold turkey.
Medication saved my life. It rescued me from a decade-long depression and a 20-year fight with PTSD. It relieved my symptoms of schizophrenia. After a long time and much trial and error, I owe these meds my life.
Yet I still don’t like them.
I don’t like the side effect of weight gain — which for me is now a constant issue. But I especially dislike the feeling of dependency. I know that my survival depends on those tiny pills I have to take three times a day. What if they stop working? Can I claim I’ve recovered and am living my ideal life if I’m still at the mercy of medication?
Side effects and frustration.
I was first put on medication by a psychiatrist in 2007 to help my PTSD and depression. I was terrified of taking that step, scared to acknowledge the hold that mental illness had over me. Taking meds made it all seem real.
At that time, I’d shown no symptoms of schizophrenia. Yet he still gave me a potent antipsychotic, which he said would help me sleep. He was right. It made me a zombie. I slept 15 hours a day, my speech slurred, and I gained 80 lbs in a year. I couldn’t concentrate, and…
