They Called Me the Black Widow

Which is Why I’ll Probably Die Alone

Wendi Lady - It's a Wendiful World
Speaking Bipolar

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Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Part of having bipolar disorder also means having questionable taste in other people as partners. For me, it was a lack of self-esteem. I never felt worthy. I didn’t feel pretty. Thanks to my mother’s bipolar bad choices and her men who abused me, I considered myself damaged goods. That said, all someone had to do was look at me a certain way and I was saying yes to a marriage proposal they didn’t make. My soul screamed, “Love me, please!”

So, they did, and then they died.

The Devil Made Me Do It

We were fourteen. Magic already called to me. I think I was born with it. But I didn’t talk about it openly. I couldn’t. I was raised in a hypocritical Southern Baptist home where we’d go to church in the morning, then come home and get molested and beaten in the afternoon. My mom had already asked the youth leader to guide me because she thought the devil was taunting me when I had psychic visions and communicated with people who had crossed over.

(Her boyfriends touched children inappropriately, but I was the one who had devil issues.)

I didn’t mean to be a medium. I didn’t try to. They just came to me. Many of them were automatic writings, and some of them were souls who needed me to connect…

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Wendi Lady - It's a Wendiful World
Speaking Bipolar

Wendi deep-dives through words into realms of spirituality, vulnerable self-discovery, self-awareness, personal development, empowerment, and mental wellness..