I look at you and die inside
You brand me like a steer
I search for strength and peace of mind
I bathe in every leer
I pray for hope and what I need
And float each time we meet
I leave in pain with broken heart
I sigh in my defeat
I build you up more than you are
I dream of what might be
Extend myself beyond my means
With hope that once you’ll see
To you I am a friendly face
A strength for now and then
You care a bit but not like me
You leave when you say when
And what I need is never met
Yes, though you say you’ll try
When I break down and ask for help
It’s on alone I cry
You say I need to know you care
The depth of what you feel
But put to test your deeds aren’t there
You turn upon your heel
And so I doubt just why I try
Just what I hope to get
As deep inside I know the truth
Each time you will forget
November 11, 2004
Sometimes relationships are one-sided. No matter how much you love the other person or how much you do for them, they never feel the same way. Achieving acceptance makes it possible for you to move on.
For too long, I defined my self-worth by the way others treated me. I thought the more I put into someone, the more they would love me. It was a painful and expensive lesson to learn that wasn’t true.
I still care for the person who inspired this poem, but they are no longer in my life and don’t get any of my time. I don’t even waste my thoughts on them. It’s healthy to move on.
Scott Ninneman is a bookkeeper and tax preparer by day and a writer by night. He maintains the blog Speaking Bipolar and writes about living with bipolar disorder and chronic illness. He also enjoys writing short stories, poetry, and inspiration for personal development. His interests include reading, cooking, and entirely too much TV.