How to Deal With The R-Word at School: Guest Contribution from Luke Radel, Board Member of The 21 Club.

Hello, my name is Luke Radel. My brother, Mark, was born with Down syndrome and I serve as a board member on our local support group, The 21 Club.

Being an eighth grader with a brother who has a disability gives me a unique point-of-view on life in high school. It seems like many kids, not just at my school but across the country, have been “de-sensitized” to the R-word. It’s not just the kids, though. I’ve had teachers who’ve used the word in front of the class and I know that parents use the word around their kids at home. It can be very upsetting for me to hear someone using the word that was used to hurt so many people like my brother. So what can we do? How can we get the R-word out of schools and make sure that the adults of tomorrow know how terrible the word really is?

The first thing that can be done is for adults to take charge. Parents and teachers need to be more careful in their choice of words to set a good example for their children or students. If they hear the word used at home or in the classroom, they need to address it. But how do you do that as a student? You don’t want to be “that kid”. What I used to do, when I didn’t understand why people were saying the offensive term, is that I would get upset and make them feel ashamed for using the word. But all that would do is make them angry at me and more determined to use the word just to spite me. The better way to handle the situation is to let them know in a respectful, calm, and understanding way. Explain to them why the word is offensive and ask them humbly to stop using it. Most of the time, this method yields an apology and usually the person refrains from using that word. But there will always be those who choose to be ignorant and unfortunately that will continue.

The important thing is that you, the student and the family member or friend of a person with a disability, talked about the word. “Letting it go” doesn’t help anything because you aren’t helping the person or yourself. Nobody is an evil person when they say the word. They just don’t understand how offensive it is. So it’s our responsibility to “spread the word” and end the R-word.

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