How to teach a stigma
Recently, comedian Tom Segura released a Netflix special with direct attacks on people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, especially those with Down syndrome. To six bouts of audience laughter, he says:
You can’t say “retarded” anymore. [audience laughs] It was just here. Don’t you remember? -“Retarded.” That’s how I… -[audience laughs] People get very upset. I don’t really support the arguments against it. When people are like, “You shouldn’t say it.” “Why?” “What if there’s one over there?” And you’re like… [audience laughs] We never said it like that. We were never like, “Look at that guy!” [audience laughs] You didn’t say it like that. You said it to describe an idea, or a situation, you know? If your friend was like, “I’ll pick you up at your house, and then we’ll come back to my place, and later we can go back to your house. And we can get your bags. And then, we’ll come back over here after that.” And you’re like, “That’s retarded. Why the f-ck would we do that?” [audience laughs] But now you can’t say that. Now you’ve gotta be like, “That’s not… smart. Your idea has an extra 21st chromosome, if you ask me.” [audience laughs] It’s not the same.
I’ll cut the joke down to a few punch lines: Not only is your idea bad, it is so bad, it’s as if it had Down syndrome. Your idea is as undesirable as someone with Down syndrome. Your idea is as wrong as someone with Down syndrome. [Pause for audience laughter]
This isn’t victimless humor — it’s reinforcement of the prejudices and attitudes that lead to exclusion and targeting of people with intellectual disabilities. This isn’t victimless humor. It’s a training in stigma to the tune of audience laughter.
To be clear, I’m not calling for censorship of Tom on this. As an attorney, I’m actually inclined to protect his freedom of expression. But I’m also prepared to exercise mine. And as a sibling of someone with intellectual disabilities, I want Olivia to live in a world that views her as more than comically wrong or laughably broken. I want Olivia to live in a world that disagrees with Tom on this and stops with the enabling laughter. Because with each [audience laughs], we teach those around us — our peers, our children — that attacking Olivia and others with intellectual disabilities isn’t only acceptable — it’s encouraged.
This is how we teach stigma: one complicit laugh at a time.
I’d like for Olivia to live in a world that didn’t stigmatize her. I’d like for Olivia to live in a world that didn’t assume her dignity to be worth less than a [audience laughs]. I’d like for Olivia to live in a world that recognized her value instead of dismissing her as a tragedy to pity, a problem to fix, a mistake to shame, or a joke to laugh at.
And I’d like Tom and others to please get out of the way while I — and millions of others who care about people with intellectual disabilities as people (like real people, with feelings, value, dignity — the whole bit) —try to make this world a reality.
I’d like for Olivia to live in a world that didn’t stigmatize her. One place to start would be for us all to mind what it is we’re laughing at and the lessons those laughs teach.
Otherwise, the source (looking at you, Tom), the platform (looking at you, Netflix), and the complicit audience (looking at all of us) provide the spark, fan, and fuel to grow the flames of a destructive stigma.
Onward,
Soeren
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