I am myself and no one can make me feel less than that: Guest submission from Kiera Byland, Special Olympics Great Britain Athlete Leader
Hello, my name is Kiera Byland. I am 19 years old and I live in the Northwest of England in Great Britain.
At primary school I just couldn’t seem to keep friends, they got fed up with me because I couldn’t keep up, I didn’t get jokes or sarcasm. I tried to participate in sports but I got teased because I couldn’t run fast enough, I couldn’t kick a ball well enough, I didn’t have hand and eye coordination, so that limited what I could play so others got fed up. The children would say horrible words to make me cry and I didn’t understand at the time why I did what I did, I thought I was the one who was stupid and thick because that’s what other’s told me. I thought if this is this my life well I hate it — I started to hit myself because I felt so sad, I thought I was in the wrong and so if I hit myself it would make me feel better. It didn’t- I was then referred to a professional service, which didn’t really help me… My mum said this wasn’t about “Me fitting in,” it was about “everyone else accepting me for who I am”. But they didn’t.
I even moved primary school at year 4 and whilst this helped a bit, by the end of year 6 I wasn’t on anyone else’s page on the school end of year book. I cried so much when I looked through that book as I just couldn’t see my name as someone’s friend on others pupils’ pages. I ripped the book up as I was so angry. My mum was also upset, she even went into school and the deputy head teacher reply was “I’m so sorry all I checked was the spellings it never occurred to me to check about this” (My mum said that would be Inclusion)
Secondary school just got worse. At the beginning I actually thought I had made a friend and it was such a nice feeling, but that didn’t last long…She told me she couldn’t be my friend anymore because the group of girls she wanted to be “IN” with said to dump me as I’m ‘that special needs idiot’ and we don’t want her… This so called friend then just made it worse by giving my telephone number to her NEW friends and they sent me horrible messages to frighten me like “we are watching your every move, we are going to get you.”I used to hide in the toilets.
One day when I didn’t come out of school on time my mum rang me to see where I was, I told her I had hidden in a toilet because I was frightened; as my mum arrived to get me, she saw a message arrive on my phone, from one of the girls it was really mean and horrible so my mum phoned the police. The school didn’t want the police involved because they said the girls were just ‘teasing’ but the police said they take cyber bullying very seriously. The police gave my mum a crime reference number so I could get my phone number changed. The school didn’t take it seriously at all and life didn’t get any better for me. For the next 4 years I spent nearly all of my time in the SEN unit away from the mainstream as I had no confidence at all. I started to use food as a comforter and would hide food in my room and eat it to make myself feel better.
I was never picked for school competitive sports and when I asked if I could join a team the PE teacher said no you have to be in set one. I asked her if she ever thought I could get to set one. She said NO because you are in the lowest sets for English and Maths. I gave up trying.
I once had the opportunity to swim using my school name and I asked the school for one of their swimming caps. They said I could either find one from lost property or my mum would have to buy a new one as I wasn’t part of the school swim squad I could not have one. I never tried again.
I didn’t enjoy school at all. People could be just so mean and not realise just how much their words hurt. Whilst in GB we don’t tend to use the ‘R’ word, they use different words with the same hatred behind their words.
In 2014, my mum and dad had taken me to a MENCAP swimming competition just as me, Kiera. No club — just me. When we arrived, we met someone from the Special Olympics Great Britain (SOGB). Her job was to let families know of local SO clubs in their area and that’s how we found out about Cheshire Penguins. This is the swim club that I joined and they became my family overnight. I’m still there now teaching and competing. I know this sounds a bit lame but my life did change forever….See for yourself as I explain a bit more…
Cheshire Penguins SO Swim Club help me register to get a SAM number; I competed at the SO National Cycle completion in 2014 and was immediately asked if I would be part of the SOGB cycle squad for 2015 SO World Games. I said okay then …. I’m now a Triple Gold Medalist and a Double World Champion in Cycling. Gosh, that sounds so easy but it wasn’t… in-between that was tons of hard work, training, fundraising, finding support staff to help me, e.g. my cycle buddies and getting a bike…
So where am I now from having NO friends, NO life, being overweight unfit and VERY unhappy?
I’ve had so many opportunities, so I’ve chosen just a few …
Athlete Leader (AL): I’m the Special Olympics Great Britain (SOGB) vice chair for our first Athlete Input Council (AIC). I am chair of the Special Olympics Europe Eurasia (SOEE) Athlete Input Council (AIC), I am the SOGB Health Advocate and have just launched FIT 5 into SOGB. I was one of 4 AL’s to attend the global health summit in Washington DC to be the voice of the athletes.
I was one of two athletes to attend the Special Olympics Leadership Academy Level 2 event in Baku; this then led to me spending a year to achieve all my targets.
Athlete: I have been chosen to be part of the 2019 World Games cycle squad going to Abu Dhabi to defend my titles.
I still compete in swimming competitions with my club Cheshire Penguins. I train every week.
Coach: I’m now a level 1 swimming teacher, I teach every Sunday at Cheshire Penguins for 2 hours. I am a British Cycle Level 2 cycle coach: I coach on a monthly basis at a local disability hub that now includes people with Intellectual Disability (ID). I also teach early years children how to use Strider Balance bikes.
Who am I now? I am confident, I am of value, and most of all I am myself, no one can make me feel less than that any more, I have ID and I’m proud to be who I am. I am, after all, ME…………
So if anyone starts to say horrible words that have the same hatred as the ‘R’ words remember, you don’t have to accept their words, it’s just their opinion (which believe me will be WRONG) and they don’t know you at all……
If you have a story, video, photo, poem, essay, guide, dance, (or anything else) to share with the world, follow the three easy steps in this link or publish your story on Medium and email it to spalumbo@specialolympics.org. If you prefer, you could also put your story into a word document, let us know whether you would like it published under your name or anonymously, and email it to spalumbo@specialolympics.org.
Pledge your support to end the R-Word here.
