Spooky Speeds: Investigating Mobile Performance at Some of the Eeriest Places on Earth

Have you ever wondered if ghosts use the internet too? While we can’t quite picture Casper using a cellphone, we can say that there are some odd things happening with cellular internet speeds at some of the spookiest places we’ve ever heard of. For the month of October, we’ll be counting down the haunted houses, mysterious mansions and peculiar prisons to find the fastest Speedtest results on mobile and reveal where specters might be interfering with the spectrum.

13. Calcasieu Parish Courthouse

Download 2.74 Mbps, Upload 0.34 Mbps

Is the ghost of Toni Jo Henry, the first woman executed in the state of Louisiana, interfering with mobile signals at this Louisiana courthouse? Toni is already notorious for causing flickering lights and other electrical blips at this, the site of her execution for killing Joseph Calloway during a carjacking on the way to spring her beloved from jail. Three trials and one trip to the electric chair later, it seems cell signals might be her next target as mobile download speeds at the courthouse are 85% slower than those in the surrounding town.

12. Château de Châteaubriant

Download 3.82 Mbps, Upload 0.24 Mbps

Poisoned or bled to death? We may never know what truly happened to Françoise de Foix, mistress of King Francis I, after her husband discovered her betrayal. What we do know is that her ghost reportedly walks the halls of this 11th century French castle every October 16, the anniversary of her death. We also know that mobile downloads at the castle are 87% slower than in the rest of the small village of Châteaubriant. Spectral interference or stone walls? You decide…

11. Winchester Mystery House

Download 5.54 Mbps, Upload 2.47 Mbps

Was the widow Winchester duped into building this labyrinthine house by a Boston psychic? Perhaps. Or perhaps a guilty conscience led her to want to create a home for the spirits of those killed by rifles built by her husband. But the stairways aren’t the only things that lead nowhere in this famous California mansion, the mobile download speeds are an abysmal 78% slower than those in San Jose as a whole. The lesson? Don’t count on calling for outside help if you’re trapped in the Witch’s Cap.

10. Alcatraz Island

Download 6.56 Mbps, Upload 5.92 Mbps

With a mobile download speed that’s 48% slower than nearby San Francisco, the jury’s still out on whether the ghosts at this famous island prison are interfering with cell reception or it’s just a little too far from the nearest cell tower. Either way, we would not want to be locked in Cell 14D with any of the spirits reported to haunt The Rock, especially the likes of Al Capone and the Butcher. For that matter, we’ll steer clear of the moaning ghosts of cell blocks A, B and C while we’re at it.

9. The Tower of London

Download 12.34, Upload 6.67 Mbps

From Thomas Becket to Anne Boleyn, murdered princes to the White Lady, this paragraph is not long enough to name all the ghosts associated with this castle on the River Thames. During its more than 900 years of life, this building has seen more than its fair share of death and its reputation as the most haunted building in England is well-earned. We don’t think all those ghosts are messing with the cellular spectrum, though, as the mobile download speed here’s slightly faster than London’s.

8. Cuban Club

Download 14.80 Mbps, Upload 4.19 Mbps

Flickering flashlights, a murdered board member and an actor’s suicide on stage mark this building that once housed a mutual aid society for Cuban residents of Tampa, Florida as one of the most haunted buildings in the U.S. Is this really the voice of Jimmy, the boy who’s said to have drowned in the basement pool? Either way, wait to watch that video until after you’ve left the building — the mobile download speed inside is 42% slower than in the rest of Tampa.

7. St. Augustine Lighthouse

Download 18.79 Mbps, Upload 3.78 Mbps

The tragic drowning of three children one July afternoon in 1873 was the start of the most famous haunting in this lighthouse’s history. A light keeper also fell to his death while repainting the lighthouse in the mid-19th century. But the story isn’t all bad, because visitors report hearing the girls laughing from the top of the tower and the light keeper is reportedly still keeping watch over his beloved tower. Perhaps happy ghosts cause less spectrum interference, because mobile download speeds at the lighthouse are only 22% slower than in the rest of St. Augustine.

6. The Stanley Hotel

Download 19.76 Mbps, Upload 4.74 Mbps

This picturesque hotel offers an extravaganza of ghoulish ghosts — so much so that a stay here inspired Stephen King to write The Shining. While you won’t find Jack Torrance running around with his axe (thank goodness!), the fourth floor is filled with the voices of otherworldly children. One ghost plays piano in the ballroom while another turns lights on and off (he even takes requests). And the mobile download speed is 26% faster than in town. All the better to stream a little Kubrick with…

5. (Dracula’s) Bran Castle

Download 24.15 Mbps, Upload 8.06 Mbps

A mere image of this Transylvanian fortress inspired Bram Stoker to write one of the greatest horror novels of all time. Though the legend of Count Dracula is likely greatly exaggerated (if not entirely made up), the appeal is real and visitors flock from all over the world to tour the castle. If you go, it’ll be easy to post selfies because the mobile download speeds are 40% faster than those in nearby Bran.

4. The Banff Springs Hotel

Download 27.84 Mbps, Upload 12.19 Mbps

Was it an architectural mistake that created a secret room in this Alberta hotel or some otherworldly force? Since that space was exposed by fire there have been reports of strange noises, a family was murdered but the little girl’s fingerprints still appear on mirrors and a bride who tripped on her wedding gown reappears on the stairs where she died. The paranormal forces seem strong here with a 36% slower mobile download speed at the hotel than in town. Whatever you do, don’t hand your precious phone to the bellman. It’s said he never would retire, but he sure does appear and disappear at will.

3. The Skirrid Inn

Download 44.07 Mbps, Upload 22.03 Mbps

Another haunted hotel, this Welsh inn is over 900 years old. It once served as a courtroom where as many as 180 people were hanged from an oak beam. Visitors report rope burns accompanied by a choking sensation, and the hanging judge purportedly remains in residence on the upper floors. Friendlier ghosts are also in residence, including a chambermaid and a clergyman, and one night money levitated above the bar. If the spooks are affecting the cellular spectrum, it’s in a positive way as the mobile download speed at the Skirrid Inn is 52% faster than the average for Monmouthshire county.

2. Akershus Fortress

Download 60.84 Mbps, Upload 13.28 Mbps

Built to protect Oslo, this complex has housed dungeons, royal tombs and a prison. These days it’s the site of official banquets. Ghost hunters, though, will be more interested in the reports of otherworldly screams and rattling chains that echo through the halls after dark. You may encounter Mantelgeisten, a faceless maiden in a long robe, but pray you never meet Malcanisen, a ghoulish dog that’s rumored to portend death within three months for anyone he meets. All this psychic activity doesn’t seem to affect mobile speeds at the castle, though. They’re only 5% slower than Oslo as a whole.

1. Fort George

Download 99.68 Mbps, Upload 21.23 Mbps

By far the location with the fastest mobile download speeds on our list of haunts, this War of 1812 battle site doesn’t disappoint when it comes to spooky activity, either. From red-coated soldiers to “The Woman in the Mirror”, the fort is filled with apparitions, inexplicable footsteps and doors that open and close themselves. We have to wonder if those spirits have a magical effect on cellular signals, too, because downloads at the fort are 163% faster than in town.

We hope you enjoyed this tour of mobile internet speeds at spooky locales. While the internet speed data is solid, we cannot actually say if it’s the ghosts causing the anomalies we saw. We can say that we’ll be careful approaching any of these places after dark. Especially on Halloween…

Originally published at www.speedtest.net on October 3, 2017.