Voice Lessons

Voice Lessons

by Ed Spicer

I called.

Voice mail mutes

thoughts and

allows you to listen to the lingering

silence of inadequate ideas

trapped in self doubt

and worthlessness.

Maybe the static clicks

and thrum of background noise

will serve as metaphor and infuse

meaning in a silence

exponentially longer than

mere seconds

ago.

HANG UP!

I should hang up

but I haven’t spoken —

except now the silence

feels like words,

like a judgement and

I know I will never be in the

smart group because

I’m still on the phone,

still silent,

feeling stupid.

And now I do hang up

and wonder how to frame

this phone call

“I called. I left a message.”

?

“I called. Something is wrong with my phone.”

?

“I called. Had to rush to get my dog outside before I could leave a message.”

?

“I called. I don’t know why.”

?

Haply I think on thee

and realize my call

doesn’t matter

and is already forgotten.

If I ask you about it,

you will not even know

what I am talking about.

I called.

I called!

I will call again.

Who knows?