Where do Coffee and Anxiety Align?
Now, what does one do when one loves something but hates it at the same time? You see that is my exact relationship with coffee. Love is a connection so strong, some might say it becomes addictive. This is exactly what happened when my love for coffee became an addiction. How does a constant that’s so strong and bold yet also sweet lead to anxiety? Well, welcome to my world and my confusing relationship with coffee.
Waking up to sip a warm cup of coffee has been part of my routine since the 7th grade. Little did I know that my mom offering a decaf cup of a blonde blend to help with the common cold would lead to a new part of my identity. You see, I start my day off with a coffee every single morning. It has almost become you could say sacred. Around the same time my coffee addiction started, I was diagnosed with anxiety. Doctors told me to stay away from caffeine, and although I did a test run, are you really even a teenager if you don’t depend on coffee? So, you see the solution was simple. I could keep the caffeine, yet maintain a safe limit of a single cup each morning, which was most definitely a struggle when all you do is crave it throughout the day.
It simply does not matter if it comes from the Keurig or it is a ten-dollar latte. My absolute go-to has to be Dunkin. Growing up in the north, you basically can’t escape them, which luckily for me fuels my caffeine addiction. There is nothing quite like starting your day with a large iced coffee from Dunkin.
The routine
This is exactly what I did this sunny Sunday morning. The piercing alarm went off at 9 in the morning, and I grabbed the black keys off of my nightstand, piling into my car with my housemates right behind me. It’s hard to explain, yet there is something so comforting about driving through a Dunkin drive-through with your best friends. While approaching the large Dunkin sign, I knew it would be a scene, cars all around filing in line with the same passengers needing a caffeine craze. I observed the passengers in the cars surrounding me in line — a grey Tacoma fully packed, seeing only the brims of baseball hats. As I watched, I wondered what led them to this drive-through. My best bet was the need to recharge after a long Saturday night. Later, they probably would go home to their fraternity house to turn on the football game. Behind us was a black suburban accompanied by a mom and her young daughter dressed in what seemed to be a basketball uniform. I wondered if the coffee she ordered would help manage the pain of sitting on middle school bleachers.
The Order
This is the exciting part of waiting through a packed drive-through, imagining how this simple drink made from some beans will affect the day of the consumers. You see, I already know my day is on the right track when I pull up to order. It’s simple really since it is the same every morning — medium iced coffee, oat milk, 4 caramel swirls, 2 sugars, and hash browns. I swear I could almost say it in my sleep. It’s also interesting to wonder if these other customers have their own go-to, or what that would be. I know that the frat boys in front of me probably weren’t ordering oat milk in their coffee.
You see, it doesn’t matter whether it’s matcha, iced- coffee, mocha, or macchiato. It doesn’t matter whether it’s after a night out or speeding to get your fix before class. It’s the comfort of knowing there will always be caffeine and a Dunkin there you can rely on. I wouldn’t trade my daily stops at Dunkin after the gym for anything, even if it comes with a little bit of anxiety. There are a lot of things that can lead to addiction, but caffeine is one I am not ashamed of being hooked on.
Who: An anxious coffee lover with her college roommates
Where: Dunkin Donuts on Eastchester Drive
When: 9:00 am on a Sunday the first week of the spring semester
What I’m Drinking: A caramel iced coffee
