Ask Olive

I Can’t Make Myself Do Anything

Advice for those who want it

Hi Olive,

Let me explain why I feel stuck: At work, I can make anything happen. I do impossible acts and save the day. I’m like supergirl. But after 5 p.m., my go-get-it-done and seize-the-day momentum is nowhere to be found. I am single in a new city. I make decent money. I can afford to do things. I just don’t do anything. I would like to meet someone and have some companionship. I would like to go to a bar and enjoy my drink in a comfortable setting. I would like to do some light traveling. I literally stop myself and don’t do anything beyond going to a movie, having dinner at a bar, or going mall-hopping by myself.

I don’t know why I do this. I actually like doing various things alone, but I feel like sometimes I want to step outside my norm, or my comfort zone, and I just don’t. I think that whatever it is, it’s keeping me from having a relationship, having a good quality of life, and having real fun — just stuck like Chuck.

I moved away to break the up the usual gang of cougars hanging out at the drinking scene. We are all in our 40s and 50s, me being the youngest. I want to do more. I want to scream, I’m so bored.

I love life and I use to show it. Now I can’t even muster the thought of…