Ask Olive: I Can’t Stop Getting Irritated

Dear Olive,

Hi. Lately I’ve had an extreme intolerance for rudeness, and — moreover — an inability to tune it out. Bad service, someone watching a video on their phone without headphones, people talking too loudly in restaurants, people taking up more than one seat on a train, disorganized queues and people who take advantage of them, music playing too loudly, anywhere — my blood boils and I fantasize a confrontation. I am not naturally assertive, and most of the time a confrontation isn’t possible (for example, yesterday I was on a plane and someone in a three-row area was listening to music so loud that I could feel the bass but I couldn’t figure out who it was and lot of people were sleeping so a loud proclamation would have been more disruptive? I think?). Can you help me. I don’t like being annoyed all the time, it seems bad for my health.

— Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,