Ask Olive

I’m Burnt Out and Afraid

Advice for those who want it

Olive,

I’m becoming a dangerous recluse. What should I do to deter this?

I’m a single, 42-year-old female. I’m an only child, I’ve never been married, I have no kids, and I’m an elementary school teacher of 17 years. I just gave up the last bit of identity I had, to move in with my mom for financial reasons. I’ve got superhuman abilities to fake who I really am professionally and personally. I’m intelligent, pretty, and I’m the life of the party that everyone wants to be around, yet I don’t want to be a part of the party anymore lately. Yes, depression, or maybe even PTSD from decades of experience. I’m usually happy being alone, but I’m nonetheless lonely.

I feel like I’m different in my feelings than most other people. I’m hyper-sensitive to my interactions with others, which makes life difficult to deal with. My passionate opinions create obstacles in my work and life. I notice and feel everything from others. Nothing in life is fair, and I find it unacceptable — to the point of just exiting stage left whenever possible. I just don’t want to be around people anymore. Teaching has burned me. I’ve been on the front lines of domestic America for so long, and I can’t cope any longer. The world is changing rapidly and I’m so attuned to it that I’m afraid. So I just sit in a little bedroom and consume…