Do You Have Faith?

Or Are You Just Fooling Yourself?

I used to think I had faith.

I’d say things like “everything happens for a reason,” or “I know it’ll all work out.” I even believed I believed it. But I was checking the stock market like a neurotic day trader, stress-eating peanut butter by the spoonful, and waking up at 3 a.m. in a cold sweat thinking about what might go wrong next week.

Does that sound like someone who has faith?

I’m not judging myself. I think it’s more common than most of us admit. We say we trust in God, or the Universe, or the Plan — but our actions tell a different story. Faith is easy to declare. But it’s how we live that reveals what we actually believe.

The Faith Gap

There’s often a wide gap between what we say we believe and how we behave. I call it the “faith gap.” And it tends to show up in times of uncertainty, when things don’t go our way, or when we’re desperately trying to control outcomes we’re not meant to control.

You might recognize the signs:

You say you trust life — but double-check everything “just in case.”

You believe in abundance — but you hoard and worry about money constantly.

You say you’re on a spiritual path — but secretly panic when the path gets rocky.

We’re not bad people for doing this. We’re just human. But it’s worth asking: If I really had faith, how would I show up differently?

Faith Is Behavioral

Real faith isn’t a slogan. It’s behavioral. It shows up in how we spend our time, how we treat people, how we respond when life punches us in the gut.

You can’t claim to have faith in divine timing and then spiral into anxiety when something is delayed. You can’t declare trust in love and then emotionally barricade yourself at the first sign of disappointment. That’s not faith — it’s a concept of faith.

And concepts don’t hold up when the pressure’s on.

What We Really Worship

There’s a line in A Course in Miracles that says, “Faithlessness is the teacher of guilt” (T-14.V.1:4). That hit me hard the first time I read it.

Because when we say we have faith but live in fear, there’s often guilt just beneath the surface — guilt for not trusting more, guilt for not being able to let go.

The Course also points out that faith is never passive. It always goes somewhere. If you’re not placing your faith in love, you’re placing it in fear. If you’re not trusting Spirit, you’re trusting ego. There’s no in-between. Even when you think you’re not trusting anything at all, you’re probably just trusting your own defenses.

So if you’re anxious, it’s not because you have no faith. It’s because your faith is misplaced.

Little Altars Everywhere

We build little altars in our minds all the time. Not to God, but to our fears. We bow to productivity, obsess over being liked, panic about bank balances, and sacrifice peace for control.

The hard truth is: we often trust our worries more than we trust our wisdom.

But here’s the good news — we can shift it. Not by trying to believe harder, but by noticing where our faith is currently going. By gently redirecting it. By choosing again. That’s how we close the faith gap — not with willpower, but with awareness.

A Simple Inventory

Try this. Take a mental inventory of your day. Not your intentions, but your actions:

Where did you spend your energy?

What did you check, double-check, and triple-check?

Where did you resist uncertainty?

Where did you surrender?

If most of your behavior was about managing fear, your faith wasn’t in the Divine. It was in your defenses. Again — no judgment. But clarity helps.

Living As If

Sometimes we need to stop asking Do I have faith? and start asking What would faith do right now?

Would it keep refreshing the email inbox?
Would it keep doomscrolling?
Would it rehearse arguments that haven’t even happened yet?

Or would it breathe, soften, and wait?

Living “as if” we have faith is often how faith actually grows. You don’t wait to feel it. You live into it. You don’t pretend. You practice.

Faith Is a Muscle, Not a Mood

You don’t need to feel holy or enlightened to have faith. You just need to choose it. Over and over again. Especially when it’s not convenient. Especially when fear is louder.

That choice can be as small as taking one deep breath when you want to yell. Or not sending the angry email. Or trusting that you’re being led, even when it looks like everything’s falling apart.

Faith isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being okay without them.

In the End

So, do you have faith?

Maybe.

But the better question might be: Where are you placing it? Because you’re placing it somewhere, whether you realize it or not.

The goal isn’t to shame ourselves for being afraid. It’s to recognize the gap between what we say and what we do — and to gently bring those two things closer together. That’s when faith stops being something we talk about and starts being something we live.

Even if it’s just one deep breath at a time.