God Of the Bible Behaving Badly Part III: Hell — The Eternal Overreaction
Miss the Mark in Life? Burn Forever. Seems Reasonable.
Some say God is love. Others say He’s justice. But if the doctrine of Hell is true — literal or not — then God is something else entirely:
A cosmic arsonist with a moral superiority complex.
Let’s break it down. According to traditional Christian theology, God creates you. He sets the rules. He decides the test. He gives you a few decades on Earth — riddled with trauma, temptation, misinformation, and conflicting religious noise — and if you don’t figure out the correct answer in time, He punishes you.
Forever.
Not a slap on the wrist. Not a timeout. Eternal conscious torment. Fire. Darkness. Wailing. Teeth-gnashing. No appeals. No parole.
All for failing a test He designed.
It doesn’t matter if you were a kind atheist, a confused teenager, or someone born in the wrong time or place. You didn’t believe. So the flames await.
And we’re told this is fair.
God is good, remember?
Now some believers say Hell isn’t literal — it’s separation from God. But if God is everywhere, how does that work? Did He invent a special place to hide from His own presence? A corner of the cosmos where He forgets to be omnipresent?
And even if Hell is just metaphorical torment, let’s ask: is infinite suffering — even psychological — ever justified for a finite mistake? Especially when the stakes were never truly clear?
If a parent burned their child alive for disobedience, we’d call it monstrous. But when God does it, we call it holy.
Why?
Because He’s in charge?
Let’s be honest. The idea of Hell wasn’t made to reflect divine mercy. It was designed to keep you in line. A fear-based loyalty program with the worst fine print in history.
Love me — or burn.
That’s not love. That’s coercion.
And if the doctrine of Hell is true, then God isn’t good.
He’s just the only one with a match.
