“Only bad mothers do this” and other strange beliefs 👩
“Only bad mothers cook instant noodles straight out of the pack with no garnishing.”
A friend of mine had this belief. Why? Her mother told her so.
Be careful what you believe. Not everything you believe is true, but what you believe has a way of becoming true for you.
Why did her mother tell her this? Perhaps it was to justify how she was a good mother because unlike the bad mothers who cooked instant noodles straight out of the pack for their kids, she always made sure to add a stalk of veg and a slice of canned meat to her kids’ instant noodles. And so she could congratulate herself on being a good mother, better than “all those bad mothers out there.”
The problem is, my friend had internalised this belief, so that whenever she cooked instant noodles without garnishing, she felt like a bad mother. And when she cooked instant noodles the “right” way, she judged the “bad” mothers in her mind.
Whereas you and I know that how you cook instant noodles is a trivial matter in the accounting of whether you or a good mother or bad.
My friend is in her forties with kids of her own now. And I don’t think she’s conscious of this maxim of her mother’s anymore. But I bet when she cooks instant noodles for her kids she feels a secret self-condemnation of conversely. judgement of others.
It’s wild the things we believe. Especially beliefs we learned as kids.
Be careful what you believe. Even unconscious beliefs. Perhaps especially what you believe unconsciously – your assumptions – those deserve the highest scrutiny.
What do you assume about yourself? Are you a loser or a winner?
I believe in you but what I believe about you is largely irrelevant, isn’t it? Only what you assume about yourself matters, at the end of the day.
Stay conscious, stay free,
Alpha, Freedom Affiliate
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