The Quality of your Relationships Determines the Quality of your Life
All of the relationships you have found yourself in now at one time were started by you, based on your skill in discernment at the time. That woman you stay in touch with from high school, the friend of a friend of a friend who you meet for coffee a few times a year, the person you live with, your former coworker, best friend, business partner, teacher, life coach or neighbor.
We often consider relationships to reference the engagement with a partner, or dating. But here we’re talking the entire scope of relationships.
Have you stopped to consider how they were formed?
Does that need or desire in the past reflect the need now?
And in this assessment, how do you determine if you’re being a “terrible person” if the need is no longer there and you simply need to disengage?
Does the person help you move forward or remind you of a different era of your life?
Do they support the movement of your inner life?
I feel there is no rush to do this assessment in a weekend. In fact, it is a practice to be developed, surely. And even the leaving or readjusting how you “be” in relationship with these people is an art — a process up to your discernment.
The essence of discernment is stillness. If you can be still with another, without trying to make them good or bad, or divine or evil, then you can begin to experience him or her very directly. This is why we teach the path of stillness. This produces the necessary condition of mind for Knowledge to emerge. Indeed, we speak of stillness throughout our discourses and refer to it often. Many people think discernment is about becoming more critical, having higher standards, being more judgmental, being more careful, asking more questions or being more guarded about oneself and one’s possessions. While it is true that as you become more discerning, you become more guarded, this is not the essence of what I am talking about. The essence of what I am talking about is the ability to experience others as they truly are, recognizing their higher qualities but also taking into account their position in life. This does not require a long analysis or a detailed study because a long analysis can only determine a person’s thinking and behavior and may not at all account for his or her deeper aspects. Here you need to be present. Be still and you will know. This sounds so simple, and yet it requires a truly refined approach. — Discernment
In Wisdom from the Greater Community, Vol II there is much to dive into regarding the why and how of this process. Why are you even reading this article? Is there a sense that your people, place and purpose might not be in the correct order that represents you?
It is entirely possible to be cluttered in terms of relationships. Perhaps you only need one or two people who truly recognize you. Perhaps that kind, loving person is holding you back. Bless them, and move on.
And what can hold us back from doing that but fear? We don’t always know what’s waiting for us. A door may not appear right away, and it appears to be a bridge with no promise at the end. This is where your power and courage may be born.
Marshall Vian Summers has said it is always important to leave space in your life. This could be space simply for the mystery to abide. For greater relationships to receive you. I am starting to think that I only understand about .00001% of how great this love really is.
