You Should Never Have to “Fight” for a Relationship
This trope sends the wrong message.
There’s a saying in Spanish. Those who sleep with children wake up pissed. One of my students taught it to me. She was doing a study abroad at my university, and used the phrase in a paper. Basically, it means don’t date someone who can’t even adult.
It’s probably the greatest proverb on dating I’ve ever heard, and it helped me make a big change in my own life. You see, I’d been dating something of a man child for almost a year.
In fact, I’d been fighting for him. We weren’t officially engaged, but we were talking about marriage. We’d gone through some rough patches, but I thought we’d turn out okay. A single little aphorism from a student paper helped me realize what a mistake I was making.
How immature was he? Well, he once threatened to break up because I gave another guy a ride home from brunch.
We’ve all probably dated someone on the immature side, only to regret the outcome. We overlooked other shortcomings in favor of their looks or charm. When things started going south, we told ourselves to fight to save the relationship. This message repeats throughout our culture. It’s an exhausted trope in romantic comedies.
