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Your Amazing Sex Life Doesn’t Matter

An impressive package is like a woman’s thigh gap. Fleeting.

Jacob Lund

That night he asked, “What’s the biggest penis you’ve ever seen?” We were all sitting at IHOP, which serves the best food in the world at 2 am. Five or six of us took over a booth. We were shattered. Not kidding. One of us had drunk hiccups. It wasn’t me, promise.

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