3 Tips to Being Super Productive… And Staying Chill While You Do It

People (women and men in equal numbers) ask me, often, how I do it. The “it” is the stereotypical woman-doing-it-all: I am a founder, a CEO with a multi-million dollar nationwide business (Splendid Spoon), a mother of two boys under the age of 4, a matriarch, a divorced woman, a published author with Rodale Books, and agenuinely content and (for the most part) pretty chill and well-balanced human being. I should also add that I have claimed all of these titles in the past 4 years. Pre-2012 I was not so chill or genuinely content, but that’s another story. I mention this timeline because I think velocity is important. The volume of my accomplishments, and how I have achieved them over a short period of time, means something… Right, Tim Ferriss?

I consider myself a leader to my family and my business. It’s a powerful position. I am proud that people take my words seriously, follow my guidance, and come to me in times of need. It’s also a responsibility that I must work to maintain. Leadership is dynamic and requires deep awareness of yourself, your environment, and the living beings within that space. I have learned over my life, and most acutely in the past 4–5 years, that I only have to do three things, ever, to be the most productive, connected, and effective leader for myself and others. I rarely wrestle because if I am wrestling with a thought or decision, I need only to do one of these three things. This means I make decisions that are integrated with the mission of my life and the mission of my business. I move with supreme intention. Here they are:

1. Be present. When I’m typing a blog post, I am just focused on the thoughts taking form on the page in front of me. When I’m playing with my kids, I’m not thinking about the networking event I should have gone to because I might have met XYZ important person. If I do wander, I notice it, and come back to the environment I’m in. This is basically taking the principles of meditation, and applying them to actions.
2. Communicate. When in doubt, I share. I ask questions, I clarify, and I confirm. I do not assume anything in personal or professional relationships anymore. I define and redefine and speak, write, text, through the dynamism that is the reality of a start-up and parenting two toddlers. Communication absolutely applies to conversations with myself too—shame and fear can be unlikely internal foes that may trick you! For inspo here, I always look to Krista Tippet from On Being, Brene Brown, and Clarissa Pinkola Estes.
3. Be patient through discomfort. Waiting is tough. Especially for me because I’m a know-it-all. I tend to think I know what the next move is and what “should” happen next at any given time. Previously, I would push and push and ultimately hurl myself forward through discomfort because the movement felt like progress. This is a trap. Discomfort teaches you things and reveals—wait for it—true gifts. It requires extra effort beyond simply being present though, which is why patience claims it’s own place at #3. Arguably, this the most important, and requires the most skill. I have to say my children, two natural childbirths, and the early days of my start-up gave me these skills. bhorowitz is another (perhaps unlinkely) hero of mine in this area… The Hard Thing About Hard Things is interestingly helpful for parents and startup CEOs alike.

At any juncture, at any place of indecision, I only need to do one of these things. Do I make mistakes? Yep. That’s a given. But I don’t get immovably stressed, or if I do, it doesn’t last very long. I lean on one of the above three actions and I move forward. That’s it. It’s fun. I do a lot, and it’s pretty chill. Try it.