Cold Cuts: The Left Overs from the 2017 Boxing Day Test
While hottakes feel good in the moment, like overeating on Christmas Day, they can leave you feeling a bit queasy. Cold cuts however, always taste better a day or two after…
“Worst Test pitch ever.”
“A snorefest that was a blight on the tradition that is the Boxing Day Test, nay, Test Cricket itself.”
“Junk runs on concrete decks.”
“This is why T20 cricket is better than long form cricket…”
These are just some of the extra-spicy hottakes that were being served unrestricted from the festive season smorgasbord that are bound to end in severe bouts of indigestion or worse!
So let’s all pop a Mylanta or two and digest the Boxing Day Test ‘action’ with some cold cuts, a cup of tea and a calm mind.
HOTTAKE: James Anderson was right about Australia’s bowling depth.
COLD CUT: Well… He might actually be right. In case you missed it:
“They’ve had three bowlers who all can bowl 90 miles an hour and they’ve stayed fit for three games, but you look beyond that and they’ve got problems,” Anderson said on his BBC Radio podcast Tailenders
The ‘problem’ that Jimmy Anderson is referring to is the lack of bowlers in Australia who are able to fulfil the requirements of being a) able to bowl at speeds consistently above 140km/hr AND b) be fit for an entire Test match series.
Australia relied heavily on the the trio of Mitch Starc, Pat Cummins and Josh Hazlewood this Ashes and rightly so, as combined they are arguably the best pace attack in the word. (Although South Africa might have something to say about that in March…)
A bruised heel saw Mitch Starc miss the Boxing Day Test however, and when the selectors scrambled to the pantry to raid the emergency stocks they realised (as Anderson had predicted) that the cupboard was bare.
Most of the domestic 140+ crew are currently out of action or just returning from repairs.
James Pattinson is in the middle of a ‘Cummins-esque’ injury battle while trusted speedsters like Jason Behrendorff (3 innings, 54 overs) and Nathan Coulter-Nile (2 innings, 15 overs) have had severely restricted workloads this domestic season.
The up-and-comers such as Jhye Richardson (5 First Class matches for 21 wickets @ 25.71) and Matthew Kelly (3 First Class matches for 13 wickets @ 20.46) show amazing promise but have a bowling CV too short to dump them in an Ashes series.
The most successful Sub-140 bowlers in the Sheffield Shield (Bird, Sayers, Tremain, Boland, Bell, Rainbird…) are all more “fast-medium” than “medium fast” and that makes them very ‘English’ in nature. That is, difficult to get away on decks are doing a bit but very hittable (or at the very least — not really any danger of getting a batsman out) if the conditions are flat, as Jackson Bird found out in Melbourne.
Furthermore, to be fair to James Anderson, he was answering a question about whether the English talent pathways should adopt a more “Australian” approach in developing young pace bowlers and Jimmy’s response was really one of: ‘well, I know we have our own issues… (as is well documented in this piece by Geoge Dobell) …but Australia isn’t perfect either.’
And looking forward to Australia’s Tour of South Africa, ‘Big Mouth Jimmy’ might have a point.
HOTTAKE: Alastair Cook’s 244* doesn’t ‘count for much’ because it happened in ‘dead rubber.’
COLD CUT: Short Answer… ARE YOU INSANE?!
Longer Answer… Let’s breakdown Alastair Cook’s achievement:
244* is the highest score by an overseas batsmen at the MCG EVER.
244*is the fifth highest score by an overseas batsmen in Australia ever.
244* is Alastair Cook’s SECOND double century on Australian soil, and he is only the third player to do so.
Yes, it happened in a Test that was played after the ‘result of a series’ was determined but does that mean that Australia wasn’t trying as hard? (Something that Geoff Lemon entertainingly explores in this piece.)
Yes, his innings didn’t win his country the Test but that didn’t mean his spot (after previous innings of 2, 7, 37, 16, 7 and 14 this series) in the English XI wasn’t under threat or that batting on an energy-sapping MCG pitch wouldn’t have been physically draining or mentally challenging.
There is always an element of concession from the fielding team when a batsmen makes a mammoth score. They concede that they can’t dismiss the batsman but doesn’t mean the batsman can’t dismiss themselves. This was a career-saving moment for Alastair Cook, a history changing one that will be noted in the record books forever and it deserves everyone’s praise — from both sides of the Ashes urn.
HOTTAKE: David Warner is the ultimate flat-track bully.
COLD CUT: Probably yes, BUT that doesn’t mean he isn’t a good batsmen OR that he isn’t (slowly) changing his ways.
Firstly, let’s open this discussion with a quiz:
Question #1: What’s the average number of centuries made in a Test where Warner scores 100+ runs? Answer: 4
Only five out of David Warner’s 21 Test centuries occured when he was the sole centurion in a match. (Note: three of those had players with scores in the 90s.)Question #2: What’s the percentage difference between Warner’s batting average in Australia compared to overseas? Answer: 22%
David Warner averages 59.26 in Australia and 36.81 overseas.Question #3:What the % difference in Warner’s average when Australia wins the toss compared to losing the toss? Answer: 20%
David Warner averages 55.01 when Australia win the toss and 34.46 when they lose the toss.Question #4: Of the five ‘cricket continents’ (Africa, America, Asia, Europe, Oceania) in how many continents and where does Warner average more than his career average? Answer: 2
David Warner averages 90 in Africa (3 Tests) and 57 in Oceania (39 Tests) but 27 in the Americas (5 Tests), 35 in Asia (15 Tests) and 37 in Europe (8 Tests).
All of the above does suggest that Warner greatly prefers not only home conditions, (which is true for the vast majority of batsmen) but also ‘preferable-to-almost-ideal’ batting conditions — aka: “win the toss, bat first.” Again this is probably no different to the vast majority of international batsmen but my qualms come from how highly Warner is touted as being a ‘generational batsmen.’
In reaching his 21st century during the Boxing Day Test (after some controversy) David Warner also reached 6000 Test runs and became the 20th fastest player to do so. Which is, of course, another impressive feat and one that came with much lofty and rapid praise.
The two batsmen that Warner often gets compared to are Matthew Hayden and Virender Sehwag, this again cause me great chagrin.
The graph above charts the “innings average” of these three oft compared batsmen and shows that even at Warner’s best, he is not equal to nor is his run production really comparable to production and consistency of Hayden and Sehwag.
I don’t point out the above with the intention of belittling Warner’s achievements. 1000s of Test players have graced the international stage and he is the 20th fastest to reach 6000 runs. A feat alone that proves his longevity, consistency and dominance but one that DOES NOT prove his equality in comparison to the true ‘all time greats’.
We frustratingly live in a current sports climate where everyone is either the “world’s greatest’ or ‘the worst ever,’ when in reality David Warner is a fantastic cricketer. It doesn’t make for a clickable headline but it is the truth.
And he is getting better at making runs in all conditions. His rare solo centurion efforts in Bangladesh (112 in Dhaka and 123 in Chittagong) showed he possessed resolve when many others didn’t and his dogged knocks in the recent Boxing Day Test proved he has patience… until he doesn’t. The bullied heave to mid-on off Curran’s unfortunately illegal delivery and his ill-timed attempt to launch a Root nude ball into space were just two reminders in five days that an opportunity for dismissal is never too far away when Warner is at the crease.
That is ultimately the difference between The Bull/The Reverend and the GOATs. The question when bowling to Hayden or Sehwag was how? The question when bowling to Warner is how long?
HOTTAKE: The Boxing Day Test should be moved to a ground with a better pitch.
COLD CUT: The MCG needs a better pitch… and it has for a while.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the MCG has a ‘boring’ pitch. Ask anyone who plays (or watches) Victorian Sheffield Shield home matches and you’ll notice a trend: attritional, disciplined, albeit not terribly exciting cricket.
This season Sheffield Shield action at the MCG has seen 3130 runs for the fall of 86 wickets (wicket average of 36.40) and three drawn matches from the tree fixtures. The only time conditions were difficult for batsmen was when the ground was damp, giving the pitch a “tennis ball bounce” effect. While batting hasn’t been hard this Shield season at the MCG, it hasn’t be free flowing either.
The last 10 years of Test cricket at the MCG tell a similar tale. 11,033 runs for the loss of 304 wickets (wicket average 36.29) and a run rate of 3.25 per over. There has been 8 results from 10 Tests however, but that is often due to individual feats of bowling rather than pitches being conducive for variation or deterioration.
Everyone this week has been keen to drop a boot into the fact the pitch is one of ten “drop ins” that grace the MCG square but the mechanics of the pitch’s arrival isn’t to blame.
Drop in wickets (as explained here) are made of the soil and materials from the ground that they are used at and are affected in much the same way pitches that “live” in the ground do because the regulating factors (weather, atmosphere, acidity etc.) are the same.
The Adelaide Oval uses drop in wickets now, and the pitch plays much the same way the “old one” did. The funny thing is, Melbourne’s pitch does as well. The MCG has always been low and slow, the only problem is now it doesn’t seem to wear out.
The options could be to make the Melbourne Test a Day-Night Test and hope the magic of the pink ball livens up the action, (an unlikely fixture change due to the nature of the scheduling) or, to use a Dirk Nannes expression, alter the ‘cake recipe.’ The risk there however is that you make an even worse pitch. Pitch curating is difficult… ask any club cricketer what they have to play on if you don’t believe me.
Also, England shouldn’t be so quick to throw stones as it wasn’t that long ago that they rolled out one of the most boring wickets in Test cricket history.
And when they tried to ‘fix it’ this is what happened…
HOTTAKE: Moeen Ali is not an international standard spinner.
COLD CUT: Moeen Ali is not an international standard spinner… and he was never meant to be the sole spinner on this tour.
A whole lot of things went wrong for Moeen Ali, even before he ripped his finger to shreds toiling away under the heat of the Australian sun.
Firstly, Ali came into this series overhyped.
Look up Moeen Ali on Cricinfo and you’ll find he’s listed as a batting all-rounder. He’s meant to be England’s version of Travis Head or Glenn Maxwell not their answer to Australia’s favourite cult-hero off spinner!
Some of that hype was his own doing… in a good way.
During the 2017 four Test home series against South Africa, Ali took 25 wickets @ 15.64 with a ridiculous strike rate of 29! This included his career best match figures of 10/112 and Man of the Series honours.
The plaudits (as they do nowadays) came thick and fast, as Ali went from a ‘handy batting all-rounder’ to a ‘world class bowling all-rounder’ in the matter of four tests.
Then the Wisden Test series against the travelling circus that is the West Indies Test team arrived and the wheels feel off for Ali. He managed just five wickets @ 49.60 with a strike rate of 85.2 in the three tests. With the bat he also only managed 109 runs @ 27.25.
So he entered this Ashes series over-hyped, out of form and (the ultimate kicker) without any overseas form to back his selection as the first choice spinner.
Again, like a lot of bowlers Ali performs better in his home conditions but the drop off when travelling is severe. While 82 wickets @ 33 with a strike rate 52 is more than serviceable as an all-rounder in England, bowling averages pushing 50+ and strike rates creeping towards the 100 ball mark overseas and against the Test Cricket’s more competitive nations should have served as a warning sign .
Secondly, Ben Stokes.
He has a lot to answer for Mr Stokes. Least of all his effect on the balance of the English Test team. Another spinner couldn’t be picked as Moeen Ali was required for his batting and England’s tail was long enough as is.
The result for Ali? A busted finger, shattered confidence and Australian career bowling stats of three wickers @ 135 with a strike rate of 242.
HOTTAKE: The English are ball-tampering cheats.
COLD CUT: Let’s not call people cheats willy-nilly.
Channel 9 served a up a spicy hottake that no antacid to resolve, everyone suffered heartburn and now… let’s move on.
HOTTAKE: Mitch Marsh sacked himself from the “Fast Bowling Cartel” and the selectors should sack him from the Australian XI before the Tour of South Africa.
COLD CUT: Well… that depends on whether Mitch Marsh is now a bowling all-rounder or a batting all-rounder
Steve Smith made a captain’s call to bring Tim Paine up to the stumps to Mitch Marsh’s bowling and while it resulted in a dropped chance, Marsh was more concerned about the effect it would have on his ‘changeroom cred.’
Between all of the somber complaints and dour match play, it was nice to have a moment of levity and the fact it came from Mitch Marsh suggests the level of comfort he is feeling about his spot in the Test XI at the moment.
“The only thing I cared about was losing my place in the fast-bowling cartel,” Marsh told ABC Grandstand.
“I sent [Steve Smith] a text last night saying I was a little bit embarrassed that the keeper came up to the stumps. I’m out of the group and I exited the cartel on my own. It was a tough day.”
And in stark reality, Marsh was bowling slow and his medium pace has been uneventful at best so far this series, as he is yet to take a wicket and is leaking approximately four runs an over.
BUT, he’s also averaging 109.50 with the bat this series so everything suggests that his boarding pass to South Africa has already been stamped.
HOTTAKE: Cam Bancroft and Usman Khawaja will be dropped for the Tour of South Africa.
COLD CUT: Who honestly knows… but the ‘hype machine’ is whirring.
Another Test is over and the ‘Press Pressure Panthers’ are stalking their next prey. This time it’s the ‘struggling’ Bancroft and Khawaja who are in their sights.
While the series has been won and the Tests won mostly in convincing fashion by the Australians, the input into the victories hasn’t exactly been even.
Khawaja (162 runs) and Bancroft (179 runs) have made marginally more runs from six and seven innings respectfully than Tim Paine (154 runs) and Pat Cummins (142 runs) have made from five.
So while it’s fairly obviously that Australia’s №2 and №3 haven’t had the greatest series, who is really lining up to replace them?
Well… a few actually.
Joe Burns is the new media favourite and Travis Head has also had his name dropped in a few lines of text but the most active CA contracted player has been the magnanimous Glenn Maxwell, who dutifully did the media circuit all Boxing Day Test despite being dropped for this Ashes series.
All three members of that trio have claims to deserve a crack in the Baggy Green but a lot of players in and around the squad do. Peter Handscomb is waiting in the wings, and is still rumoured to be travelling with the squad to Sydney.
Ashton Agar has been added to the squad for the Sydney Test despite having only played one Sheffield Shield match this summer and if given the opportunity to play will of course be auditioning for a chance to tour South Africa.
The over-arching theme is however, that despite a convincing Ashes win and some amazing individual achievements, the selectors are still not happy with the team as it stands. We can’t predict who’s coming in but we can almost guarantee there will be change.
So… turns out that there was a fair few servings of left overs there to digest. Enjoy the cricket-coma and we’ll see you on Jan 4.
